We are becoming more and more dependent on machines to function in this modern world. Some people think it is negative trend. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
We are not only utilizing
machines
in our professional lives but also
using them on a daily basis and It is thought that the inventions of machines
have made us more dependent on them. I believe it is a positive development in this
modern world
and I discuss this
in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, people
who think that utilizing machines
everywhere is negative not only think about health but also
consider about
cognitive abilities. Change preposition
apply
In other words
, depending on different machines
to fulfill our tasks causes several health problems such
as eyesight weakness, headaches, mental illness as well a lack of self-skills. Computer usage, for example
, is rising day by day as all the business tasks are done by it in a few seconds such
as sending emails to another company, therefore
, when people
invest more time on this
device their eyes are affected by screen and mind feels heavy. Also
, when we all depend on these devices we do not use our abilities to solve some problems such
as mathematical. Consequently
, we get more physical problems and lack of ability to solve obstacles by ourselves.
However
, it is irrefutable that machinery has developed our nation on a high level and made this
world
a small village. Mobile phones and computers, for instance
, not only allow us to do business internationally but also
make everything easy in this
competitive world
as people
can initiate their own business online and sell multiple products to get financially strong. Also
, mobile phones provide us with multiple apps to learn new languages to connect with people
from other nations and they also
assist us in traveling
around the Change the spelling
travelling
world
to see its natural beauty by providing appropriate information about places. As a result
, machines
have given us a lot of opportunities to migrate from one country to another to experience other cultures.
In conclusion, the inventions of machines
have more positive sides and these devices made our world
more developed. Also
, people
are getting more money with the help of machines
.Submitted by maninderdeep on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that all subsequent sentences in that paragraph relate directly to that main idea to establish coherence within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more complex logical connectors and transitional phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure introduction and conclusion distinctly present the topic and summarize the main points effectively, avoiding repetition of ideas.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure your position is clear throughout the essay and that your argument is balanced by discussing both sides of the issue, regardless of your personal opinion.
task achievement
Illustrate arguments with specific and relevant examples to strengthen the ideas and make them more persuasive and relatable.
task achievement
Improve clarity by presenting comprehensive ideas that are well-developed and not overly simplistic. This may require more detailed analysis of the subject matter.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!