An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

It would not be wrong to say that no

one

wants to lead a monotonous life. Every person desires some excitement, changes and spice to break the insipid routine of life. In

this

respect, undoubtedly, cosmetic

surgery

comes as a change in aspect. In my opinion ,

this

is largely a positive development.

This

essay intends to explain the reasons that can be attributed to the given statement. To embark on,

one

of the paramount factors behind cosmetic

surgery

tends to be the

beauty

of own.

This

intends

Verb problem

means

show examples

that individuals want to extend their

beauty

with the help of doctors to boost their confidence. Probing ahead the entertainment industry needs citizens like men and women whose features are sharp and with good looks. The mounting evidence is South Korea where more than 75% of people did not get jobs because of their looks

therefore

people prefer aesthetics.

Hence

aesthetics is

one

of the solutions who need to boost confidence and increase their looks. In spite of our awareness of the problem, we do little to address it. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of negative aspects that cannot be ignored, It is obvious cosmetic

surgery

is very expensive and it is not good for health sometimes there are many side effects. To substantiate people can improve their

beauty

Change preposition

apply

show examples

naturally with proper diet, exercise and so on. To point out a convincing example

one

of the famous celebrities Kate Winslet never had any cosmetic

surgery

and she won many awards because of her

beauty

To conclude

, every person wants good looks and confidence in them but plastic

surgery

is not

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

way to resolve

this

problem.

Although

they can improve themselves apart from

surgery

Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on Sat Jan 06 2024

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Task Achievement

In terms of Task Achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task by discussing reasons for the increased choice in cosmetic surgery, as well as providing a balanced viewpoint on whether this trend is positive or negative. Add more depth and detail to support your points effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on creating a clearer logical structure by using coherent paragraphs and clear topic sentences to introduce each point. Connect your ideas with appropriate discourse markers, and ensure your conclusion sums up your arguments concisely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Idealized beauty standards
Cosmetic surgery
Advancements in medical technology
Socially acceptable
Self-improvement
Psychological well-being
Competitive workforce
Youthful appearance
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Physical appearance

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