It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

When it comes to the topic
taking
Change preposition
of taking
show examples
risks
in
life
either
profession wise
Add a hyphen
profession-wise
show examples
or
personal wise
Add a hyphen
personal-wise
show examples
, people are often divided into two parts. There are ones advocating accepting the
risks
because of the lessons or achievements they can bring out in the end. Meanwhile, the opposers hold the view of risky things making
life
way too stressful and even miserable with the potential loss awaiting ahead of them. From my perspective,
'we
Correct article usage
the 'we
show examples
only live once' saying has been the inspiration for my opinion that we should live
life
to the fullest including taking
risks
and even the failures following them. First of all, if no one ever took
risks
, we could not have
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
what we do today. Fear is
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
of
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
when being placed in front of unpredictable options.
Accordingly
, we tend to opt for anything we are confident with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high likelihood of success.
Nevertheless
,
sciencetists
Correct your spelling
scientists
could not come up with the
Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
show examples
vaccines and brought it to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
end that
quick
Change the word
quickly
show examples
if they
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
not
take
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
the risk that these vaccines might have not worked out. Obviously, before these could be brought to the public for use, the scientists had tested them out and failed so many times. Yet any
time
they failed, they learned some things new to come closer to the preferable outcomes. In personal
life
, similar
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
often demanding us to make decisions and some just
postively
Correct your spelling
positively
change our lives forever. Given that we decide to go with the flow, of course, we will not lose what we currently have, yet what we will potentially have. Let's take Jack Ma, a hardworking but
used to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
poor
comunor
Correct your spelling
community
in China, as an example. If he had been a typical tireless
comunor
Correct your spelling
communion
around that
time
without taking the risk of losing all his savings
onto
Change preposition
on
show examples
his business Alibaba, he would have not made it one of the most successful businesses in China in their industrial revolution era that has created
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
thousand jobs for his Chinese fellows. In conclusion, the most concerned disadvantage people talk about all the
time
regarding
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
is what if we lose and we cannot afford to lose. It is not always the case certainly, there are chances of winning as well and as soon as we win the outcomes must be fruitful.
Moreover
, even when we lose that
time
, we can learn from failures that definitely set us up for success in the future.
Consequently
, I do believe the advantages of taking
risks
surpass the
dissadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, it would benefit from more cohesive devices to connect paragraphs and ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task equally. The essay should balance coverage of both the advantages and disadvantages, even if the final position is clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: