IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature of the graph and make comparisons where relevant

the graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature of the graph and make comparisons where relevant
#unemployment #levels #ireland #people #country #information #feature #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram above depicts information regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of inhabitants leaving Ireland
as well as
Linking Words
 the unemployment rate of the nation. 1988 witnessed a high start of the total
citizens
Correct quantifier usage
number of citizens
show examples
 that
leave
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
 the country, which stood
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 6000 individuals. Reflecting similar trends, the level of unemployment
also
Linking Words
 experienced a peak start of above 16 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of the total residents. As years went by, both no-job
townsman
Fix the agreement mistake
townsmen
show examples
 and people leaving Ireland
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to diminish their
number
Use synonyms
 with light fluctuations. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the figure of people that went abroad dropped to under 40000 in 1992.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it slightly increased in a 2-year period before gradually
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 its
number
Use synonyms
 until 2004.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a significant
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 to 50000 residents happened from 2004 to 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 proportion fell to around 13 per
cent
Use synonyms
 before it rose to above 14 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in two years. The figures cumulatively lessen to a considerably small
number
Use synonyms
 in 2000. By
then
Linking Words
, the share remained steady until it increased vaguely to 6 per
cent
Use synonyms
 by the year of 2008.
Submitted by jelitasofiaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment levels
  • emigration rates
  • economic conditions
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • significant changes
  • peaks and troughs
  • steady state
  • trend analysis
  • government policies
  • global events
  • data interpretation
  • comparative analysis
  • key findings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: