the graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature of the graph and make comparisons where relevant

#unemployment #levels #ireland #people #country #information #feature #comparisons

The diagram above depicts information regarding the

number

of inhabitants leaving Ireland

as well as

the unemployment rate of the nation. 1988 witnessed a high start of the total

citizens

Correct quantifier usage

number of citizens

show examples

that

leave

Wrong verb form

left

show examples

the country, which stood

Change preposition

show examples

around 6000 individuals. Reflecting similar trends, the level of unemployment

also

experienced a peak start of above 16 per

cent

of the total residents. As years went by, both no-job

townsman

Fix the agreement mistake

townsmen

show examples

and people leaving Ireland

continue

Wrong verb form

continued

show examples

to diminish their

number

with light fluctuations. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, the figure of people that went abroad dropped to under 40000 in 1992.

Furthermore

, it slightly increased in a 2-year period before gradually

decreased

Wrong verb form

decreasing

show examples

its

number

until 2004.

Moreover

, a significant

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

to 50000 residents happened from 2004 to 2008.

On the other hand

, the

unemployement

Correct your spelling

unemployment

proportion fell to around 13 per

cent

before it rose to above 14 per

cent

in two years. The figures cumulatively lessen to a considerably small

number

in 2000. By

then

, the share remained steady until it increased vaguely to 6 per

cent

by the year of 2008.

Submitted by jelitasofiaz on Sat Jan 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

177 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unemployment levels
emigration rates
economic conditions
correlation
inverse relationship
significant changes
peaks and troughs
steady state
trend analysis
government policies
global events
data interpretation
comparative analysis
key findings

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