Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
a number of people believe the biggest environmental issue is the decreasing plants and animals numbers nowadays, others reject
this
statement because
of
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apply
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they think there are more significant troubles. I must admit that I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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with the idea
of
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that
show examples
plants and animals are the most substantial things we should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
about. Now, I would like to give relevant examples to explain
myself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that why I think that way. First of all, the flora on our earth has plenty of positive strong impacts. We must remember that they protect us from
act
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acts
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of gods
such
as
flood
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floods
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,
landslide
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landslides
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or even
avalanche
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avalanches
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. Of
course
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course,
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natural disasters happen no matter what but they would
effect
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affect
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the number of
letality
Correct your spelling
lethality
legality
positively. Without all these good impacts, we
also
consume herbs to gain proteins, vitamins and minerals. Being a good source of nutrition, herbs could help us
with
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apply
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get through
of
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apply
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a great number of diseases, obesity or even
we
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apply
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eat them in order to make diet.
Secondly
, Nobody can deny
animal's
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animal
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benefits on our globe. For
examples
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example
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, without bees,
the
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apply
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nature has no chance to survive. I do not just mean flora, but
also
all the lives which living
on
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in
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the world. We cannot imagine the causes of
brutes
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brutes'
brute's
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absence
while
even a single one could
effect
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affect
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this
much.
Also
,
such
as plants, we eat them to get
efficent
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efficient
sufficient
proteins and not only proteins but
also
carbonhydrate
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carbohydrate
carbohydrates
,
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apply
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fat and other substances. What is more, we feed them to remove our lack of
being
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apply
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love feeling.
Everbody
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Everybody
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wants to be loved by others and which makes them our best friends who
loves
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love
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us without any condition. All in all, it seems to me that without their existence,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity has no chance to survive.
Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on

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structure
You should aim to present your ideas in a more logical and structured manner. Your essay currently lacks clear logical progression, and the ideas seem randomly organized.
formality
Avoid informal language, repetitive sentence structures, and grammatical errors to maintain the formality and clarity required for an IELTS essay.
development
Develop your arguments with more specific examples and clear explanations. This will provide stronger support for your main points.
task response
Ensure you directly address all parts of the task. Your personal opinion was given, but the contrasting view requires more analysis and discussion.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively formulated to outline your essay's main arguments and restate your position in the conclusion.
language accuracy
Work on the accuracy of your language use, focusing on correct vocabulary, verb tenses, and sentence structures to improve clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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