Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums,zoos and concerts and sometimes even to other countries.What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?
Nowadays, visits to other
places
and countries are trending. Kids at
secondary Change preposition
in
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
are often make
Change the verb form
are often made
on
go to museums, zoos and concerts ,and sometimes even to other countries. I think it is Change preposition
to
very
nice Add an article
a very
chance
to see places
, animals, birds
. The following paragraph will discuss.
On the one hand, Correct word choice
and birds
go
to Wrong verb form
going
onother
country creates many advantages.Correct your spelling
another
First,
that provides good life experiances
to Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
childrents
. Correct your spelling
children
children's
Visit
to
Change preposition
apply
that
own Correct determiner usage
those
places
. Learning give
Change the verb form
gives
to
Change preposition
apply
pupil
practical wise study. So they can Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
easy to
understand the main topic and they can Replace the word
easily
clearn
their doubts same Correct your spelling
clean
clear
learn
times
. Fix the agreement mistake
time
For example
, if get a chance
to see canada
museum, Change the capitalization
Canada
must
of the Correct your spelling
most
childrents
feel very happy. Because, Correct your spelling
children
children's
that is
very
special Add an article
a very
the very
chance
, and they can learn lot
of things. They got many Change the article
a lot
experiance
and they will get a Correct your spelling
experience
chance
their
knowledge Change preposition
to their
improving
and can discuss with many Verb problem
apply
students
about that visit
also
they can learn that
place's culture, people's lifestyles,. So Change preposition
about that
that
Correct pronoun usage
This
give
a Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
chance
to eassy
connection to Correct your spelling
easy
community
and Correct article usage
the community
also
increasing
decision-making skills and Wrong verb form
increases
confidents
.
Correct your spelling
confidence
On the other hand
, Often visit to
Wrong verb form
visiting
students
, create
some disadvantages. Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
First,
these days most of
Change preposition
apply
students
like to online studing
. They Verb problem
apply
do
not Verb problem
are
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
visit
different Wrong verb form
in visiting
places
. Because,
they feel Remove the comma
apply
that is
wast
of money and time. It is true Correct your spelling
waste
this
generation. Because every person are
living in Change the verb form
is
busy
life. So they think Add an article
a busy
the busy
that is
Correct article usage
a wast
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
their
time.They can do Change preposition
of their
lot
of activities that time. So they do not feel good. Change the article
a lot
For instance
, one of my friend
have been Change to a plural noun
friends
researcher
Correct article usage
a researcher
frome
ten years. They said to me many Correct your spelling
for
students
not
interested Add a missing verb
are not
this
. Because they face Change preposition
in this
fainancial
problems and very Correct your spelling
financial
traied
. So do not like these and poor Correct your spelling
trained
tried
students
feel very guilty. So their mind upset
.
In conclusion, In my point of view, Add a missing verb
is upset
visit to
other Wrong verb form
visiting
places
some students
feel good others feel bad. However
, I belive
Correct your spelling
believe
visit
to Wrong verb form
visiting
learn
Add the particle
learn to
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
good
life Correct article usage
a good
lession
and we Correct your spelling
lesson
not
forget demand. So without Change the verb form
do not
did not
suffer
poor people we can Change the verb form
suffering
visit
and learn also
live happy
.Change the adjective
happily
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on
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task achievement
Work on presenting a clear stance throughout your essay. An impartial discussion of advantages and disadvantages requires clarity and balance, which was somewhat lacking.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points by providing more detailed explanations and a greater variety of examples. Your essay would benefit from deeper analysis and richer illustrative material.
coherence cohesion
Employ a more coherent structure in your essays. Each paragraph should have a clear central theme, which should be elaborated upon with supporting ideas and examples.
coherence cohesion
Strive for consistency in tense usage and maintain a formal tone throughout your writing. Avoid contractions and colloquial language for a more academic style.