Many students do part-time work while they are studying. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a trend of doing
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
jobs
while
studying in
these days Change preposition
apply
due
to cover their living costs. It can be seen that there are some advantages of doing a Change preposition
apply
job
while
they are studying, those outweigh the negatives as it would help them to cover their living expenses
and improve experiences
in future works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
whereas
involving part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
jobs
interrupt their main focus
on studying is a drawback.
Students
in the
modern society are inclined to join a Correct article usage
apply
job
while
they are following tertiary education to cover their living expenses
. Today, it can be seen that day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
expenses
on foods
, travel,and study material prices are increasing Fix the agreement mistake
food
due to
the
inflation.So, sometimes, it may Correct article usage
apply
difficult
to afford these Add a missing verb
be difficult
expenses
only by their parents.In contrast
to the affordability, students
tend to find part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
jobs
to support their studies.For example
, Majority
of Correct article usage
the Majority
students
from western
countries find Capitalize word
Western
a
Correct article usage
apply
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
work after just completing the age of 18. In addition
, generally, doing a job
may useful
to get some Add a missing verb
be useful
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
inline
with their studies. Correct your spelling
in line
Employments
would Correct your spelling
Employment
also
improve their experiences
, personality, and communication skills which helpful to future employments
as well after their studies. Fix the agreement mistake
employment
For instance
, If a student is following
a degree in marketing , who Verb problem
pursuing
find
a Change the verb form
finds
job
as an
sales representative Change the article
a
while
studying can grab more skills like communication and verbal which may useful
to be a marketing manager in the future.
Add a missing verb
be useful
On the other hand
drawbacks perspective, It may distrupt
student's main Correct your spelling
disrupt
focus
. furthermore
, doing a job
while
studying sometimes add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds
additinal
pressure on their course because they are sometimes tied up with their Correct your spelling
additional
job
responsibilities. In contrast
to the job
responsibilities, they have no time
to focus
on their specific course which drive
them Change the verb form
drives
Change preposition
to subjects
subjects
failures. Fix the agreement mistake
subject
For example
, Many
Fix capitalization
many
students
who chose
foreign universities, entitle to Wrong verb form
choose
unsuccessful
Add a missing verb
be unsuccessful
on
their courses because of Change preposition
in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
jobs
.
In conclusion, there are some beneficts
of finding Correct your spelling
benefits
a
employment Remove the article
apply
while
following courses due to
find
extra sums of money to cover their Change the verb form
finding
expenses
and improve their experiences
. However
, sometimes, it may lead to less focus
of attention on their education. Therefore
, students
should have a good self- disciline
to carry out work and study together.Correct your spelling
discipline
Submitted by Praslah on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some logical progression of ideas but occasionally lacks clear connections between them. To improve, ensure you have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and that each idea naturally leads to the next. Use cohesive devices like despite, consequently, therefore, and however to make your argument flow better.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and presented advantages and disadvantages of working part-time while studying, but your argument would benefit from further development. Make sure to expand your main points with specific examples and explanations to support your argument. Moreover, the complexity of ideas can be enhanced; consider the varying impact of part-time work on different students, based on their courses, workload, and individual abilities.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?