IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Taking
risks
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 in our personal and professional lives is inevitable. I believe that taking
risks
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 can lead a person to live their best life.
However
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, knowing when and how to take a
risk
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 is crucial.
As
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This
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this
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 will give us a chance to grow either professionally or at a personal level but only with carefully calculated
risks
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 to avoid dreadful consequences.
To begin
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 with, being a
risk
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 taker has several benefits
such
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 as getting the opportunity to get out of our comfort zone.
For example
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, if an employee works in a company where not only he is performing an underpaid job but
also
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 he is overqualified for it, he should plan a calculated
risk
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 and leave the job at the appropriate time in order to get a better opportunity.
This
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risk
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 could definitely alter his career path.
On the other hand
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, risking a friendship or a relationship can be a heartbreaking experience.
That is
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 because not all mistakes can be fixed.
For instance
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, if someone feels uncomfortable in any sort of relationship, they should take some time to think and reflect before making any risky decisions. There is a school of thought that you should change anything that makes you unhappy in your life;
however
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, I’m all for calculated
risks
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 which require
a
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apply
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thorough thinking and
evaluating
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evaluation
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 of the situation. In conclusion, there are differences between calculated
risks
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 and reckless decisions. I strongly believe that with
percise
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precise
practise
 evaluation of the various circumstances taking
risks
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 can be a
life changing
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life-changing
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 experience.
In addition
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 to that, we should choose the appropriate time to take a
risk
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 which is after giving the topic the sufficient amount to calculations.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Please ensure your essay has a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic. It should have a thesis statement which sets out the key points that will be discussed.
Main Body Structure & Examples
The main body paragraphs should be structured logically, with each paragraph discussing a single major point related to the question. Each point should be elaborated upon with clear and relevant examples.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should restate your main points and summarize how they support your overall position. Make sure it is clear and reflects your argument presented throughout the essay.
Paragraph Development
Aim to develop each paragraph fully with a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and specific examples that directly relate to the theme of the paragraph.
Cohesion
Make sure the various parts of your writing are well connected. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to ensure that ideas within sentences and paragraphs flow logically.
Task Response
Your essay should fully address the question with a clear and comprehensive argument that reflects an understanding of the topic. Ensure your response includes a balanced consideration of the advantages and disadvantages with relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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