the number of people are at risk at serious health problem is only because of overweight. what is the reason and how it can be solved?
It is essential to acknowledge an overweight is a
prime
Correct word choice
major
problem
in
worldwide and Change preposition
apply
people
have more and more potential to be affected by severe diseases. The main reasons are unhealthy eating habits
and an inactive lifestyle. This
essay discusses these reasons and will explain possible solutions to solve the problem
.
Firstly
, the obesity group is significantly increasing because of unhealthy eating patterns. Moreover
, many people
eat irregularly and consume large amounts of high-calorie diets. For example
, 50% of adults in Europe with bad habits
of eating suffer from obesity. Secondly
, an inactive lifestyle contributes to the surge of this
issue and a number of people
rely on cars instead
of walking, have fewer physical demands at work and prefer inactive leisure activities. This
results in burning fewer calories and gaining weight.
There are some possible solutions that can be taken to mitigate the problem
. Mainly, conducting awareness programs helpful
to develop comprehensive knowledge among individuals regarding healthy food Add a missing verb
is helpful
habits
and possible diseases. In addition
to that, combined health
campaigns together to monitor health
outcomes. As an example, Sri Lanka's health
sector conducted an
awareness programs and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
health
screenings in the western province, statistic
revealed improvements in the selected adult obesity groups. Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
Moreover
, the government should allocate funds to construct infrastructure with fitness areas in public places for citizens and employers should encourage the staff to walk in the office premises instead
of using the lifts. Also
, often encounter facilities for maintaining their health
status people
are motivated without hesitations.
In conclusion, nowadays the modern world rapidly growing number of obese and a rising population with related illnesses. Unhealthy eating habits
and sedentary lifestyles are the stem of the problem
and health
awareness programs and facilities for fitness can rid this
epidemic.Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with clear paragraphs, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Include more cohesive devices to guide the reader through the essay seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but they can be strengthened with more detailed explanations and deeper analysis. Avoid making general statements without elaborating on how they directly relate to the main argument.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task sufficiently but lacks depth in ideas and explanations. Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific details throughout the essay.
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