Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #study #subjects #school

The way of teaching is always a crucial issue for children's education. Some regard students should learn every subject at school,

in contrast

the

Correct article usage

apply

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others believe

focus

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focusing

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on the majors

which

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in which

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students are

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

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Change preposition

apply

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would be a better method.

In the

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The

show examples

following content will discuss both stances and will outline their benefits. All

range

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ranges

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of studies could be helpful for children who are still confused about their future

career

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careers

show examples

. After learning all types of knowledge, they would understand more about each profession and find out the most suitable subject for themselves.

For example

,when I was a child, swimming was my favourite subject. At the moment, I thought

becomming

Correct your spelling

becoming

a swimming

athelete

Correct your spelling

athlete

was my only future option.

Nevertheless

while

in medicine and sports class, I realised that there is a profession called

physiotherapist

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physiotherapy

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which is related to both sports and treatment, it combines my interest and specialised

skill

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skills

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This

is the reason why I

choose

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chose

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my major in university. Focused education could be more

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for those who already

find

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found

show examples

their target, they could learn more information about the profession in their school lives.

For example

, I had a friend whose dream was

becoming

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to become

show examples

accoundant

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accountant

, and Mathematics was her

most

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apply

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favourite lesson.

However

, high schools in Taiwan

seperate

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separated

teenagers' time

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into

show examples

six subjects, which caused her could not focus on her

interested

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interest

show examples

class

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in class

show examples

. It could be a waste of time for her. In conclusion, both types of teaching have their advantages,

as a result

, it is hard to define which is the better choice for children.

however

base

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based

show examples

on my personal experience, I support study in all subjects which provides a direction for those aimless students.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Sun Jan 07 2024

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task achievement

For task achievement, ensure all parts of the task are covered, offering a balanced discussion on both views with examples. Include a conclusion that clearly states your opinion. Aim to encompass more depth in your discussion with specific examples and a stronger personal stance.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, improve essay structure with clearer paragraphs and topic sentences. Use a variety of linking words to enhance connections between ideas. Additionally, focus on the logical flow of ideas and provide clear conclusions for each paragraph that relate back to the main topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

well-rounded education
discover their interests and strengths
basic understanding
interconnected world
higher motivation
deeper knowledge
mental health
reducing unnecessary stress
boredom
balanced approach
successful specialization
well-informed perspective
solid general education
freedom to delve deeper
specialized future career path

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Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it? ALWAYS read the topic clearly and work out exactly what you have to write abou

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Universities and colleges are now offering courses through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing excercise classes. what are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negetive development?