Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The way of teaching is always a crucial issue for children's education. Some regard students should learn every subject at school,
in contrast
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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on the majors
which
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in which
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students are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
would be a better method.
In the
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The
show examples
following content will discuss both stances and will outline their benefits. All
range
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ranges
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of studies could be helpful for children who are still confused about their future
career
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careers
show examples
. After learning all types of knowledge, they would understand more about each profession and find out the most suitable subject for themselves.
For example
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,when I was a child, swimming was my favourite subject. At the moment, I thought
becomming
Correct your spelling
becoming
a swimming
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
was my only future option.
Nevertheless
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,
while
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in medicine and sports class, I realised that there is a profession called
physiotherapist
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physiotherapy
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which is related to both sports and treatment, it combines my interest and specialised
skill
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skills
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.
This
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is the reason why I
choose
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chose
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my major in university. Focused education could be more
benefitial
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beneficial
for those who already
find
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found
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their target, they could learn more information about the profession in their school lives.
For example
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, I had a friend whose dream was
becoming
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to become
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an
accoundant
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accountant
, and Mathematics was her
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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favourite lesson.
However
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, high schools in Taiwan
seperate
Correct your spelling
separated
teenagers' time
to
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into
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six subjects, which caused her could not focus on her
interested
Replace the word
interest
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class
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in class
show examples
. It could be a waste of time for her. In conclusion, both types of teaching have their advantages,
as a result
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, it is hard to define which is the better choice for children.
however
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,
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
on my personal experience, I support study in all subjects which provides a direction for those aimless students.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure all parts of the task are covered, offering a balanced discussion on both views with examples. Include a conclusion that clearly states your opinion. Aim to encompass more depth in your discussion with specific examples and a stronger personal stance.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, improve essay structure with clearer paragraphs and topic sentences. Use a variety of linking words to enhance connections between ideas. Additionally, focus on the logical flow of ideas and provide clear conclusions for each paragraph that relate back to the main topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
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