Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The way of teaching is always a crucial issue for children's education. Some regard students should learn every subject at school,
in contrast
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the majors
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
students are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
would be a better method.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
following content will discuss both stances and will outline their benefits. All
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
of studies could be helpful for children who are still confused about their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. After learning all types of knowledge, they would understand more about each profession and find out the most suitable subject for themselves.
For example
,when I was a child, swimming was my favourite subject. At the moment, I thought
becomming
Correct your spelling
becoming
a swimming
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
was my only future option.
Nevertheless
,
while
in medicine and sports class, I realised that there is a profession called
physiotherapist
Replace the word
physiotherapy
show examples
which is related to both sports and treatment, it combines my interest and specialised
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
This
is the reason why I
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
my major in university. Focused education could be more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for those who already
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
their target, they could learn more information about the profession in their school lives.
For example
, I had a friend whose dream was
becoming
Change the verb form
to become
show examples
an
accoundant
Correct your spelling
accountant
, and Mathematics was her
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favourite lesson.
However
, high schools in Taiwan
seperate
Correct your spelling
separated
teenagers' time
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
six subjects, which caused her could not focus on her
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
class
Change preposition
in class
show examples
. It could be a waste of time for her. In conclusion, both types of teaching have their advantages,
as a result
, it is hard to define which is the better choice for children.
however
,
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
on my personal experience, I support study in all subjects which provides a direction for those aimless students.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For task achievement, ensure all parts of the task are covered, offering a balanced discussion on both views with examples. Include a conclusion that clearly states your opinion. Aim to encompass more depth in your discussion with specific examples and a stronger personal stance.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, improve essay structure with clearer paragraphs and topic sentences. Use a variety of linking words to enhance connections between ideas. Additionally, focus on the logical flow of ideas and provide clear conclusions for each paragraph that relate back to the main topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
What to do next:
Look at other essays: