IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanatges of this outweigh the disadvanatages?

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In recent times, there has been a huge demand for acquiring a
second
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language
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due to
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 globalisation. Under the circumstances, there is ongoing contention over whether it is essential for children to commence learning a foreign
language
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 after they have entered primary school.
Although
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 there are some concerns about
time
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 allocation to other
subjects
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 and children’s interests, I strongly believe that
this
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 movement will be more beneficial, as it expands their job opportunities
as well as
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 mastery of pronunciation.
To begin
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, there are two main disadvantages pertaining to the introduction of a
second
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language
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 in a primary school, one of which is ensuring
time
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 for other
subjects
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. In most educational establishments, there is a wide range of compulsory
subjects
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 that students need to take (e.g. math, their own
language
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, geography, and PE). If a foreign
language
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 is integrated into a curriculum, the amount of
time
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 in some
subjects
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 needs to be reduced.
Furthermore
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, with regard to children’s interests, some may not have any passion for learning a
second
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language
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, meaning that educators must compel those students to learn it.
On the contrary
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, learning a new
language
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 at the early stage of life tremendously brings benefits.
Firstly
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, considering the global economy in the world,
for instance
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, the capability of being able to speak English has an edge in job hunting. There is ample evidence stating that early learning of another
language
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 is far more effective and efficient than older age referring to brain development.
Moreover
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, in relation to a key component, which is pronunciation, the older people become, the more difficult it will be.
Thus
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,
this
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 may result in impairing communication with foreigners in the future. In conclusion,
while
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 educators may need to sacrifice the amount of
time
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 allocated to other
subjects
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as well as
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 a child-centred approach, it is still worth implementing
second
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language
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 classes because it will significantly contribute to students developing their careers successfully and
also
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 acquiring correct pronunciation.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices to achieve a more natural flow.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task with sufficiently developed ideas and provide clear, relevant examples to support key points. Be cautious of repetitive phrases and strive for a clear position throughout the response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptable
  • receptive
  • cognitive abilities
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • early exposure
  • pronunciation
  • natural accent
  • cultural awareness
  • sensitivity
  • integrated
  • enriching educational experience
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