Some people believe that companies should manufacturing products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be place on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The manufacturing
products
are in high demand
across the globe. Some say that enterprises
should produce products
for long-lasting, whereas
others consider that manufacturing companies
should produce inexpensive goods
. I strongly agree with the former opinion because long-duration goods
will save money for not buying often.
On the one hand, production companies
ought to be produced
a long period of things which is a better quality of Wrong verb form
produce
products
so that people have to save their money from buying frequently. The quality is determined the
duration of the Change preposition
by the
products
. For example
, the Apple smartphone is the
long-lasting product Correct article usage
a
by
a better standard of quality, and Change preposition
with
as a result
, this
company have a massive amount of happiest customers. To be more precise, when a company will start
to produce long-duration Wrong verb form
starts
goods
while
the environment Correct word choice
apply
also
will protect
from pollution Wrong verb form
be protected
which
toxic chemicals Correct word choice
when
mixed
into the air.
Add a missing verb
are mixed
Therefore
, enterprises
ought to produce the
Correct article usage
apply
goods
which has
long-lasting.
Change the verb form
have
On the other hand
, companies
should produce the
cheap Correct article usage
apply
goods
so sales
would increase as well
as
Correct word choice
and
demand
also
will be increased
so Wrong verb form
increase
that
monopoly situation Correct determiner usage
the
have
to be removed in the world market. Because Change the verb form
has
competitior's
Change noun form
competitior
companies
try to sales
Replace the word
sell
goods
with
a low cost, people's buying ratio increases. Change preposition
at
For instance
, smartphones price is
inexpensive in the world market, Verb problem
are
many
top Correct word choice
and many
companies
also
sales
with a low amount so that they will increase the Replace the word
sell
demand
by reducing the price. Hence
, production enterprises
should produce cheap goods
.
To conclude
, Although
manufacturing companies
ought to produce goods
with
long-lasting in order Change preposition
apply
to
people Change preposition
for
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
goods
often, demand
and sales
will be increased
when manufacturing Wrong verb form
increase
companies
reduce their good's
prices. In my opinion, about Change noun form
goods'
this
, I strongly agree that production enterprises
should produce things with long warranty.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, providing some discussion on both viewpoints and a personal opinion. Develop your arguments more thoroughly, elaborating on the reasons behind each viewpoint and ensure that these are clearly linked to the prompt. Each paragraph should explore a single idea, providing depth and clear connection to the overall essay question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some organization but lacks a clear progression of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more effectively. Work on introducing the main points in a way that prepares the reader for the content to come, and close with a conclusion that summarizes the arguments and reiterates your opinion, while directly addressing the essay question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example