Some people believe that companies should manufacturing products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be place on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The manufacturing

products

Use synonyms

are in high

demand

Use synonyms

across the globe. Some say that

enterprises

Use synonyms

should produce

products

Use synonyms

for long-lasting,

whereas

Linking Words

others consider that manufacturing

companies

Use synonyms

should produce inexpensive

goods

Use synonyms

. I strongly agree with the former opinion because long-duration

goods

Use synonyms

will save money for not buying often. On the one hand, production

companies

Use synonyms

ought to

be produced

Wrong verb form

produce

show examples

a long period of things which is a better quality of

products

Use synonyms

so that people have to save their money from buying frequently. The quality is determined

the

Change preposition

by the

show examples

duration of the

products

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the Apple smartphone is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

long-lasting product

Change preposition

with

show examples

a better standard of quality, and

as a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

company have a massive amount of happiest customers. To be more precise, when a company

will start

Wrong verb form

starts

show examples

to produce long-duration

goods

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the environment

also

Linking Words

will

protect

Wrong verb form

be protected

show examples

from pollution

which

Correct word choice

when

show examples

toxic chemicals

mixed

Add a missing verb

are mixed

show examples

into the air.

Therefore

Linking Words

enterprises

Use synonyms

ought to produce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

goods

Use synonyms

which

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

long-lasting.

On the other hand

Linking Words

companies

Use synonyms

should produce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cheap

goods

Use synonyms

sales

Use synonyms

would increase

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

demand

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

will be

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

monopoly situation

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to be removed in the world market. Because

competitior's

Change noun form

competitior

show examples

companies

Use synonyms

try to

Use synonyms

sales

Replace the word

sell

show examples

goods

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

show examples

a low cost, people's buying ratio increases.

For instance

Linking Words

, smartphones

price is

Verb problem

are

show examples

inexpensive in the world market,

many

Correct word choice

and many

show examples

top

companies

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sales

Replace the word

sell

show examples

with a low amount so that they will increase the

demand

Use synonyms

by reducing the price.

Hence

Linking Words

, production

enterprises

Use synonyms

should produce cheap

goods

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

manufacturing

companies

Use synonyms

ought to produce

goods

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

long-lasting in order

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not

buy

Fix the infinitive

to buy

show examples

goods

Use synonyms

often,

demand

Use synonyms

and

sales

Use synonyms

will

be increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

when manufacturing

companies

Use synonyms

reduce their

good's

Change noun form

goods'

show examples

prices. In my opinion, about

this

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that production

enterprises

Use synonyms

should produce things with long warranty.

reanudeepanSun Jan 07 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay partially addresses the task, providing some discussion on both viewpoints and a personal opinion. Develop your arguments more thoroughly, elaborating on the reasons behind each viewpoint and ensure that these are clearly linked to the prompt. Each paragraph should explore a single idea, providing depth and clear connection to the overall essay question.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization but lacks a clear progression of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more effectively. Work on introducing the main points in a way that prepares the reader for the content to come, and close with a conclusion that summarizes the arguments and reiterates your opinion, while directly addressing the essay question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
carbon footprint
customer satisfaction
brand loyalty
cost-effective
replacement expenses
environmental impact
accessibility
innovation
variety
upfront costs
long-term investment
consumer behavior
market competition
affordability
frequent updates
short-term gains
maintenance expenses

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing，while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.