Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.
Different kinds of individuals argue that
money
is not the cause of happiness. However
, other segments of humans say that being pleased is not related to money
as well. While
happy people identify pleasant
Rephrase
as pleasant
as well as
they can unwind and relax out of huge responsibilities, I completely believe that money
is needed to buy the basic needs for everyone's life
. This
essay will represent both points of view.
On the one hand, too many people describe happiness as being far away from all responsibilities and headache tasks as well as
having a life
balance without focusing on collecting money
and increasing their revenue rates. These types of individuals, such
as investors and company owners are spending their whole week in addition
to the national weekends in their jobs . Moreover
, they feel more exhausted at the end
of their days. For example
, when the president of a firm, that manufactures specific products, meets businessmen, builds relationships and does their original strategic tasks during the whole week without any rest to increase revenue growth for the company , they will feel exhausted and lose the rest of life
in strengthen relationships with their family and friends.
On the other hand
, other personas believe that money
is not the source of being happy at all. In other words
,money
is needed to meet humans' basic needs in their lives. Being happy and pleased is to live without asking for donations to get warm, eat healthy food and drink clean water. However
, if people could not meet their living needs daily, as a result
, the impoverished would rise and cause a community crisis. For instance
, parents need an amount of money
to bring for
their children food and medicines when they are sick.Change preposition
apply
However
, they will go for illegal ways like stealing to meet the daily needs of being survived with their children.
In conclusion, although
happiness is described as having a life
-balance in life
without thinking of raising money
for parts of the population, money
is a crucial need for every well-being to be alive in life
. Whereas
, without having money
for various personas, there is a probability to
increase Change preposition
of to
the
rate of starvation.Change preposition
in the
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task achievement
Ensure that both views on the topic are fully explored and exemplified with clear, relevant examples. Some of the arguments could be supported with more specific examples rather than hypothetical scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction could be strengthened by explicitly stating the purpose of the essay and providing a brief overview of the points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the essay structure by using cohesive devices appropriately. Ensure paragraphs are well-developed with a single main idea each and use a range of linking words to help with the flow of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?