Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
it is argued that academic achievements are decided by talented educators, some assume that learners’ perspectives are far more crucial.
Although
the positive reactions of trainees might play an important role in helping learners achieve learning accomplishments, I believe that good teachers may have far more significant impacts on studying results. On the one hand, students with a serious attitude often learn in a self-disciplined way,
as well as
willing to practice lessons repeatedly and regularly, and
thus
, may get good scholastic performance. These people tend to not only try their best to follow their planned schedules strictly but
also
spend a lot of time fulfilling their homework, group tasks, or presentation skills, and they often practice doing those several times until they become experts.
For example
, most students who had good studying mindsets at the high school where I used to work 4 years ago frequently achieved academic excellence.
However
, I am persuaded that only
proactive
Correct article usage
a proactive
show examples
learning attitude is not enough because the apprentices may waste a lot of time and money trying a huge number of different studying techniques and get
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
or they could read countless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unqualified and irrelevant materials.
On the other hand
, outstanding instructors might create numerous contributions to the educational development of the youth, and with their support, the schoolchildren are more likely to have a good academic performance in a shorter period with less financial cost or effort. Talented teachers frequently have a list of learning strategies that are the most suitable for every subject and they
also
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
what materials are useful to their students.
For instance
, 342 undergraduates in the school where my wife is working showed their appreciation to their trainers at the teacher’s day ceremony
last
year because all of them had gotten unbelievably good results in the city's excellent student contest
although
they only had much less time to review and practice for the test than others. I believe
this
point is preferable because proficient educators have a broad range of knowledge to know what is necessary for their pupils, and they have a variety of useful studying methods to help the next generations
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success more easily and quickly. In conclusion, even though the trainees’ attitude might deliver notable contributions to their scholastic performance. I am convinced that
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
teachers are of greater importance to
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
academic achievements.
Submitted by hoangdaosales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
While your essay effectively addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, you should avoid using overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader. Simplifying sentence structures can improve clarity and readability.
general
Work on refining your topic sentences to ensure they smoothly introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This will enhance the flow of your arguments.
general
Consider diversifying your vocabulary and using synonyms to avoid repetition of key phrases such as 'good academic performance' and 'talented teachers.'
content
You provided a strong introduction and concluded with a clear summary of your argument, which helped to tie your essay together.
content
The examples you included were relevant and effectively supported your main points, thereby strengthening your argument.
structure
You demonstrated a good understanding of the topic and maintained a balanced discussion by addressing both views before presenting your own opinion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: