IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development

#competition #university #development
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Getting
good
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a good
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education
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 is a crucial part of every person's life nowadays. It is becoming harder to get
admission
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 to the latest
university
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, which is
negative
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a negative
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 development for
education
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. To embark with, in
this
Linking Words
 fast
pece
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pace
 of
world
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the world
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 the greatest innovation is the latest study and
this
Linking Words
education
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 is too cheap and too affordable because of the high demand
of
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for
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 foreign study . To be more precise, The majority of
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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adop
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adopt
 the
internation
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international
education
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 system and they consume a huge amount of fees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
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university
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universities
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 have unique
admission
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process
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processes
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, they conduct various
exam
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exams
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 before getting
admission
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 and in
this
Linking Words
 stage students
loss
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lose
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 their patience and
giveup
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give up
 in the middle of
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admission
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the admission
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 process.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
government
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the government
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 should open
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a campous
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campous
Correct your spelling
camps
 where they provide free
education
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 and give
facility
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facilities
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 to
adult
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an adult
the adult
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 who really
want
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wants
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 to get
success
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successful
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 in their life
also
Linking Words
, many companies provide
education
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Change preposition
via form
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form
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from
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
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Internet
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 and they
also
Linking Words
 give better information with the help of
grapic
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graphic
 technology. There are various
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 in the world and some provide free
education
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 and some consume more money like
,
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apply
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Indian
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the Indian
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institude
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Institution
 of
management
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Management
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 but they provide efficient
education
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 and quality
education
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,
although
Linking Words
,
student
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students
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 can not apply
in
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to
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Linking Words
this
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these universities
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university
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 because of high
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 and only toppers apply in
this
Linking Words
university
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 but they do not have sufficient amount of money so, they apply government
university
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 or privite unifersity.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is more
difficulty
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difficult
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 to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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admission
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in
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to
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university
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 because of
week
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weak
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 financial
condition
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conditions
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 and some face more
difficult
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difficulties
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 in
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admission
Correct article usage
the admission
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 process
also
Linking Words
organisation
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organisations
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 should focus on
update
Change the verb form
updating
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 their course as compared to private
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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.
Submitted by devrpatel0201 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your essay has a strong opening statement that presents the topic and a conclusion that reinforces your main points and answers the question directly.
Paragraph Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs in a logical manner. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, providing clear supporting details and examples to elaborate on it.
Linking Words
Improve coherence by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively. This will help create a smoother flow of information throughout your essay.
Task Response
Enhance task achievement by ensuring a complete response to the prompt. Discuss both sides of the issue if required, and provide a clear and direct answer to the question in terms of whether it's a positive or negative development.
Idea Development
Make your main ideas clear and easy to comprehend. Provide comprehensive explanations and specific examples to demonstrate your points better.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievements
  • foster
  • culture of excellence
  • merit-based system
  • dedicated
  • educational institutions
  • quality education
  • future workforce
  • stress and pressure
  • fierce competition
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • burnout
  • tertiary education
  • less privileged backgrounds
  • exacerbate
  • social inequality
  • drives innovation
  • programs and facilities
  • overemphasis
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • ethical judgment
What to do next:
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