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Band 4

Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development

#competition #university #development
Getting
good
Add an article
a good
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education
 is a crucial part of every person's life nowadays. It is becoming harder to get
admission
 to the latest
university
, which is
negative
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a negative
show examples
 development for
education
. To embark with, in
this
 fast
pece
Correct your spelling
pace
 of
world
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the world
show examples
 the greatest innovation is the latest study and
this
education
 is too cheap and too affordable because of the high demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 foreign study . To be more precise, The majority of
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
adop
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adopt
 the
internation
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international
education
 system and they consume a huge amount of fees.
Moreover
, some
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 have unique
admission
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
.
For instance
, they conduct various
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 before getting
admission
 and in
this
 stage students
loss
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lose
show examples
 their patience and
giveup
Correct your spelling
give up
 in the middle of
admission
Add an article
the admission
show examples
 process.
Furthermore
,
government
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the government
show examples
 should open
Correct article usage
a campous
show examples
campous
Correct your spelling
camps
 where they provide free
education
 and give
facility
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facilities
show examples
 to
adult
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an adult
the adult
show examples
 who really
want
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wants
show examples
 to get
success
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successful
show examples
 in their life
also
, many companies provide
education
Change preposition
via form
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and they
also
 give better information with the help of
grapic
Correct your spelling
graphic
 technology. There are various
university
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universities
show examples
 in the world and some provide free
education
 and some consume more money like
,
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apply
show examples
Indian
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the Indian
show examples
institude
Correct your spelling
Institution
 of
management
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Management
show examples
 but they provide efficient
education
 and quality
education
,
although
,
student
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students
show examples
 can not apply
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these universities
show examples
university
 because of high
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 and only toppers apply in
this
university
 but they do not have sufficient amount of money so, they apply government
university
 or privite unifersity.
Overall
, it is more
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
university
 because of
week
Correct your spelling
weak
show examples
 financial
condition
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conditions
show examples
 and some face more
difficult
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difficulties
show examples
 in
admission
Correct article usage
the admission
show examples
 process
also
organisation
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organisations
show examples
 should focus on
update
Change the verb form
updating
show examples
 their course as compared to private
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
.
Submitted by devrpatel0201 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your essay has a strong opening statement that presents the topic and a conclusion that reinforces your main points and answers the question directly.
Paragraph Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs in a logical manner. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, providing clear supporting details and examples to elaborate on it.
Linking Words
Improve coherence by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively. This will help create a smoother flow of information throughout your essay.
Task Response
Enhance task achievement by ensuring a complete response to the prompt. Discuss both sides of the issue if required, and provide a clear and direct answer to the question in terms of whether it's a positive or negative development.
Idea Development
Make your main ideas clear and easy to comprehend. Provide comprehensive explanations and specific examples to demonstrate your points better.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievements
  • foster
  • culture of excellence
  • merit-based system
  • dedicated
  • educational institutions
  • quality education
  • future workforce
  • stress and pressure
  • fierce competition
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • burnout
  • tertiary education
  • less privileged backgrounds
  • exacerbate
  • social inequality
  • drives innovation
  • programs and facilities
  • overemphasis
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • ethical judgment
What to do next:
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