In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
There is no denying the fact that health and weight are
inter-linked
. These days, obesity is alarmingly becoming Correct your spelling
interlinked
one
of the substantial concerns across the world, leading to an unhealthy lifestyle all around. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will be highlighting some of the factors related to being overweight and some ways through which Linking Words
this
issue can be tackled.
Seemingly, there are plenty of reasons behind Linking Words
people
becoming a victim of obesity. Use synonyms
To begin
with, the rise in private vehicle Linking Words
purchase
has discouraged Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
people
, to a large extent, from walking, whether to work, for shopping, or vacations. Use synonyms
Second,
there are only a handful of Linking Words
people
who might be involved in exercising daily to burn extra calories. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the increasing consumption of junk food items has substantially contributed to calorie increase among Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
one
of Use synonyms
the
friends, in his late 20s, evaded exercising and healthy food for a longer time. Change the word
my
As a result
, he is now way beyond his ideal weight and has started developing heart issues at Linking Words
such
a young age.
Modifications and alterations in Linking Words
sedentary
lifestyle Correct article usage
a sedentary
along with
Linking Words
adequate
diet can surely help address Correct article usage
an adequate
such
an issue to a great extent. To put it in simple words, consumption and intake of calories should be as per the requirements of the body by keeping the height-weight ratio and age in mind. Linking Words
Also
, Linking Words
one
should take a balanced diet, Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
that is
comprehensive and contains the right amount of minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates, and fats. Linking Words
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, exercising should Linking Words
also
be an inevitable part of our daily lives, and Linking Words
this
habit should be implemented in everybody, regardless of age. Linking Words
People
should Use synonyms
also
be motivated to give up on their sedentary habits and lead an active life by going to the gym, jogging, running, walking and more.
I would like Linking Words
to conclude
that inadequate food habits and non-active lifestyles are the real contributors to rising obesity. And, these can be dealt with attentively by calorie and meal planning.Linking Words
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs clearly relate to one another and that there is a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay. Using a variety of cohesive devices can assist in achieving better linkage between sentences and paragraphs, creating a more consistent argument or description.
Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay includes an introduction and conclusion, both could be enhanced by more clearly defining the thesis and summarizing the main points more effectively. This strengthens the overall clarity of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Providing clear main points is crucial, but these must be expanded upon with well-supported explanations and examples. Greater detail and depth in the supporting sentences will enhance the quality of the essay and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your response addresses the task adequately, providing a clear position on the causes and solutions to the issue. However, every point touched upon should be fully developed and linked back to the main question to ensure a complete response.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented in the essay should be expressed more comprehensively. Aim to deepen and expand upon each point, moving beyond the surface to explore the implications or reasons behind your statements, thus creating a more engaging and thought-provoking argument.
Task Achievement
Use of relevant, specific examples is good, yet strive to incorporate a wider variety of detailed instances. This will illustrate a broader understanding and reinforce the validity of your points more convincingly.