Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

While
enhancing human well-being
trough
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through
show examples
science
is important, I believe that by no
mean
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means
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should it be solely the primary goal of
science
. Equally
importent
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important
are safeguarding the
environment
and
repecting
Correct your spelling
respecting
animal rights. In the practice of
science
, the improvement of human lives should never come at the cost of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. As the world's population increases, creating
better
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a better
show examples
way
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ways
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to produce food,
sush
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such
as more effective
pesidices
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residences
,
become
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becomes
show examples
vatal
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vital
fatal
. Yet, if
teh
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the
focus remains solely on boosting
make
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making
show examples
the land infertile, the
importance
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important
show examples
of taking
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to take
show examples
a balanced approach to scientific advancement that
focus
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focuses
show examples
on caring for both human lives and the
healeh
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health
of the
environment
that they depend on.
Furthermore
,
teating
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treating
testing
drugs on animals
raises
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raise
show examples
serious ethical concerns.
Ensure
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Ensuring
show examples
the safety of novel medicines for human use is critical, but prioritizing human health over animal rights is morally unacceptable. Animals, much like
human
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humans
show examples
, experience emotions and share the right to live freely and without unnecessary suffering. Subjecting them to prolonged captivity solely for testing can result in both physical and psychological suffering. As moral beings, we have a
reponsibility
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responsibility
to
traet
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treat
animals compassionately and avoid
such
acts of brutality in the name of human betterment. In conclusion,
although
imroving
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improving
people's
life
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lives
show examples
is an
improtant
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important
aim of
science
, I believe that it should not overshadow
other
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another votal objective
other votal objectives
show examples
votal
Correct your spelling
vital
objective within the field. We must
also
give equal priority to
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
reservation
Correct your spelling
preservation
show examples
and animal welfare,
stricking
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striking
a balance between scientific progress and ethics for a better world.
Submitted by yuxinyun_2023 on

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task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the given prompt as it deviates significantly from the topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on whether the experiences of childhood or teenage years have a more influential impact on an individual's future life. However, the essay discusses the goals of science and its moral implications instead. To improve, make sure to thoroughly read the prompt and address the specific question asked, providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints as well as your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
It appears that the essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The progression of ideas is not evident, and there are issues with paragraphing and transition devices. To enhance coherence and cohesion, organize ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme, and use appropriate linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • future life
  • experiences
  • childhood development
  • bonding
  • socialization
  • peer interactions
  • basic skills
  • education
  • learning
  • friendships
  • independence
  • identity
  • exposure
  • new ideas
  • perspectives
What to do next:
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