Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #experiences #child #school #influence #future #life #teenager

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

While

Linking Words

enhancing human well-being

trough

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

science

Use synonyms

is important, I believe that by no

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

show examples

should it be solely the primary goal of

science

Use synonyms

. Equally

importent

Correct your spelling

important

are safeguarding the

environment

Use synonyms

and

repecting

Correct your spelling

respecting

animal rights. In the practice of

science

Use synonyms

, the improvement of human lives should never come at the cost of

Use synonyms

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

. As the world's population increases, creating

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

to produce food,

sush

Correct your spelling

such

as more effective

pesidices

Correct your spelling

residences

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

vatal

Correct your spelling

vital

fatal

. Yet, if

teh

Correct your spelling

the

focus remains solely on boosting

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

the land infertile, the

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

of taking

Change preposition

to take

show examples

a balanced approach to scientific advancement that

focus

Correct subject-verb agreement

focuses

show examples

on caring for both human lives and the

healeh

Correct your spelling

health

of the

environment

Use synonyms

that they depend on.

Furthermore

Linking Words

teating

Correct your spelling

treating

testing

drugs on animals

raises

Change the verb form

raise

show examples

serious ethical concerns.

Ensure

Wrong verb form

Ensuring

show examples

the safety of novel medicines for human use is critical, but prioritizing human health over animal rights is morally unacceptable. Animals, much like

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, experience emotions and share the right to live freely and without unnecessary suffering. Subjecting them to prolonged captivity solely for testing can result in both physical and psychological suffering. As moral beings, we have a

reponsibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

traet

Correct your spelling

treat

animals compassionately and avoid

such

Linking Words

acts of brutality in the name of human betterment. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

imroving

Correct your spelling

improving

people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

is an

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

aim of

science

Use synonyms

, I believe that it should not overshadow

other

Change the wording

another votal objective

other votal objectives

show examples

votal

Correct your spelling

vital

objective within the field. We must

also

Linking Words

give equal priority to

Use synonyms

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

reservation

Correct your spelling

preservation

show examples

and animal welfare,

stricking

Correct your spelling

striking

a balance between scientific progress and ethics for a better world.

Submitted by yuxinyun_2023 on Sun Jan 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay does not adequately address the given prompt as it deviates significantly from the topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on whether the experiences of childhood or teenage years have a more influential impact on an individual's future life. However, the essay discusses the goals of science and its moral implications instead. To improve, make sure to thoroughly read the prompt and address the specific question asked, providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints as well as your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

It appears that the essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The progression of ideas is not evident, and there are issues with paragraphing and transition devices. To enhance coherence and cohesion, organize ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme, and use appropriate linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

influence
future life
experiences
childhood development
bonding
socialization
peer interactions
basic skills
education
learning
friendships
independence
identity
exposure
new ideas
perspectives

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Some university students like to attend university close to home and live at home with their family, others like to choose to study away from home and live in another city. Surely they all have several reasons for the choice. However, in my opinion, living away from home is better for a university student.
6
band
roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In all monopolies, roads will be more secure if vehicle users pass the driving tests each year. Although it will be supportable, it is more effective if there are special areas for vehicle drivers.
7.5
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, when prospective employees sign up for an open position in a company, oftentimes they are asked to fill down private data such as favourite activities and marital status. Some say this requirement is not needed, while others say this is necessary. In my opinion, this additional information is helpful, especially for the recruiters. This essay will elaborate on both positions below.
8
band
Do you agree that there are still many more major technological innovations to be made?
In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of individuals discussing the future of technological advancements and their impact on various aspects of life. Some argue that the era of major innovations is far from over, citing reasons such as ongoing research and the rapid pace of development. In this essay, it will be argued that agreeing with this perspective is crucial for optimal societal development.
6.5
band
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over half a century, the status of women in society has been changing rapidly; however, communities cannot substantiate the achievement of gender equality. While many groups of people favour this viewpoint, I argue that legal implications, more job opportunities and the right to get education provided by the government in many countries to support the female category prove that there is no discrimination on gender basis.

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Do you agree that there are still many more major technological innovations to be made?

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?