IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the process of water treatment

The diagram shows the process of water treatment
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There is a description of
water
Use synonyms
 complete purification in the coloured picture. The whole process starts with
water
Use synonyms
 intake through the screens on the bottom of the natural lakes or dams.
Water
Use synonyms
 is moved thanks to pumps inside the pipes, and continues into the flash mix which contains the chemical stuff: polyaluminium chloride and oxidants.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 flows through the flocculation box to the settling basin. In the next
step
Add a comma
step,
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water
Use synonyms
 is enriched by chlorine. In the following
direction
Add a comma
direction,
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water
Use synonyms
 runs through the filter membrane where it is filtrated.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, it is disinfected by chlorine, lime, or sodium hydroxide and fluoride. In
such
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a way
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way
Add a comma
way,
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 cured
water
Use synonyms
 flows thanks to a pump into our homes, where its output is usually regulated by faucets.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the whole process of
water
Use synonyms
puriffication
Correct your spelling
purification
 is relatively demanding,
requires
Correct word choice
and requires
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 several particular steps with the cure of some specific chemical stuff to be safely usable.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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