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Band 4.5

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

#children #fun #years
Reading is one of the most popular hobbies all over the world, and it has always been because it can give us
the
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apply
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education, a fun,
it
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supports our imagination, and improves our communication skills since childhood. Unfortunately, it is really the truth that
children
 have preferred other hobbies in
the
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recent years. We can speculate about the reasons. The electronics are probably more attractive than the
books
. It requires no effort, and it is usually better accessible than the
books
. Everyone has a smartphone providing,
for instance
, countless games, movies and social media. The other reason could be the pace of the present time. Everything is expected immediately. We are pushed into a never-ending rush and chaos, which complicates being focused on the reading.
However
, the
books
 still have a hope
to be
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of being
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 loved by
children
. The key solution is to adapt the
books
 to modern conditions. The most simple way is to remake all
books
 into their electronic forms
,
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 so that the
children
 can easily use them via smartphones and tablets.
Moreover
, it is important to talk to
children
 through
the
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social media
,
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 and show them the persisting values of the literature. It is essential to teach all
children
 to adore the anecdotes and support their imagination by telling
the
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stories and fairytales.
Thereafter
, they will desire to continue to seek
for
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apply
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the
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adventures, and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the
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books
.
To conclude
,
books
 have been and will be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important source of knowledge and general education. It is crucial to create and support
love
Add an article
a love
show examples
 for
books
 in
children
 from
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age.
Submitted by jana.smalcova on

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coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a basic logical structure, connecting the ideas about the decline in children's reading habits with relevant causes and suggestions for encouragement. However, transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and summarise the main arguments effectively. In the essay provided, the introduction and conclusion are there but could be more concise and focused on the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
While main points are present, they require further development and support through concrete examples, research, or statistics, which were largely absent or underdeveloped in this submission.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. The essay should provide an in-depth exploration of the reasons behind the decline in children's leisure reading and offer specific, actionable strategies to encourage reading, which were somewhat superficially covered.
task achievement
The ideas presented should be explained more comprehensively. This includes providing more detailed reasoning behind the decline, as well as elaborating on how the proposed solutions could practically be implemented.
task achievement
Specific examples are critical to supporting the claims made in the essay. They should be relevant and detailed enough to convincingly illustrate the points being made. There's a need to include more examples and evidence to support arguments, for instance, studies showing the effectiveness of digital books in encouraging reading amongst children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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