Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In
this
day and age, city planning is an essential problem, which requires suitable policies to develop the economy and ensure the life of residents. Some individuals suppose that enormous, eye-catching buildings are vital for a city. Others assume that the government should invest in expanding schools and hospitals. It is undeniable that not only do wonderful skyscrapers in the world create a brand for famous
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
, but they
also
are chances to promote tourism. In many countries, tourism has become an environmentally industrial, which brings lots of benefits.
For instance
, if people have a plan to visit Europe, I believe that they will consider France, which has the Eiffel Tower. Or Italy, there is the Pizza Tower and the Rome stadium. These constructions are attractive-tourist and highlight places for cities.
Besides
financial value, long-standing structures have gone through several centuries, which relate to the history of cities and be a milestone for citizens. I agree with the above opinion,
nevertheless
, I
also
think that advancing schools and hospitals are very important because health and education are two indispensable aspects to improve the living standard of local people.
Therefore
, the government should focus on investing in the two above fields.
Moreover
, good schools and hospitals can bring in a large source of foreign currency.
For example
, some countries have a good quality of education
such
as America, Canada, Australia and so on, which attract many foreign students to study.
Hence
,
these society
Change the determiner
this society
these societies
show examples
can earn lots of money from others. In conclusion, I totally believe that both impressive buildings and social welfare are crucial for every urban area to both develop the economy and ensure people’s quality of life.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Increase the use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and arguments. Words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'in contrast', and 'on the other hand' can enhance your essay's coherence.
task achievement
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion by restating the question more clearly in the introduction and summarizing your main points more precisely in the conclusion. This will improve your essay's task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Use the first sentence of each paragraph to introduce its main idea, and ensure all subsequent sentences in that paragraph support the main idea.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure that you answer every part of the question fully. You can do this by dedicating a paragraph to each view discussed in the prompt and clearly stating your own opinion.
general
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to showcase your language proficiency. This will not only make your essay more engaging but also demonstrate your command of the English language.
general
To make your essay more compelling and persuasive, include more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and improve your essay's overall effectiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!