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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
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The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of teachers in six different genres of
institude
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institute
 based on
genders
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gender
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 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in the category of private
school
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 and nursery
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school
Add a comma
school,
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men
Use synonyms
 outweigh
women
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,
interestlingly
Correct your spelling
interestingly
, both genders
represened
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represent
 in the same percentages in the field of college.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
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 remaining
categories
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women
Use synonyms
 represented
in
Change preposition
at
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 higher rates than
men
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. In detail, in terms of the
categories
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 of nursery/
pre-
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preschool
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school
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 and primary
school
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 showed
similar
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a similar
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 pattern, in both
categories
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men
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 accounted for less than
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in fifth, and
women
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 represented
in
Change preposition
apply
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the majority, approximately 90%. Turning to the category of secondary
school
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, despite still the rate for
women
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 was higher than
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
for men
show examples
, the gap was not as remarkable as
the
Change preposition
in the
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 previous
categories
Use synonyms
. Looking more closely at the
categories
Use synonyms
 of private training
institue
Correct your spelling
institute
institutes
 and
universy
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university
, in the private training
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
men
Use synonyms
 accounted for just below
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60%, and
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this woman
these women
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women
Use synonyms
 represented
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just above
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40%.
Finally
Linking Words
, more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 60% of
universty
Correct your spelling
university
 teachers were
men
Use synonyms
 in that year
according to
Linking Words
 the given figure.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, men, women, categories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
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