some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation.
Some
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
are of the opinion that the best way to change the situation is just accept
that, Change the verb form
is just to accept
for
instance
an Add a comma
instance,
unsutible
job or lack of money, and some others assume that, Correct your spelling
unsuitable
attempt
and improve Wrong verb form
attempting
such
situation
it would be better. I agree to some extent that trying would play a key role Correct article usage
a situation
to change
Change preposition
in changing
situation
. Add an article
the situation
This
assay will provide my personal view in detail.
On the one hand, it can be certainly said that, for the first step, people
have to accept their occassion
but it does not sufficient for changing their life. Despite the fact thatCorrect your spelling
occasion
,
some Remove the comma
apply
people
believe that dealing whith
Correct your spelling
with
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
it
is the best way, Correct pronoun usage
apply
but
they Correct word choice
apply
litterally
escape from their issues. If we do not make a huge effort for that, it will Correct your spelling
literally
be remained
stable. Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
For example
, lack of money was the main problem
for my friend, but she do
nothing about Wrong verb form
did
this
, and just expect
that one day Wrong verb form
expected
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
will
be okay. Wrong verb form
would
whereas
, the second step ussually
Correct your spelling
usually
overlook
, and it is doing Correct subject-verb agreement
overlooks
emmidiate
action for our Correct your spelling
immediate
problem
. The more attempt
, the more benefits.
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
On the other hand
, some people
are against the above-mentioned view. Improve
Wrong verb form
Improving
our selves
and Correct your spelling
ourselves
boost
our Wrong verb form
boosting
oppurtunity
are not only Correct your spelling
opportunity
neseccary
but Correct your spelling
necessary
also
beneficial. It is reasonable that people
want to tackle with
their Change preposition
apply
problem
and try to build their Fix the agreement mistake
problems
life
. They are adorable. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
in addition
, earn
money andWrong verb form
earning
provide
tremendous Wrong verb form
providing
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
make
us satisfied, need to Change the verb form
makes
persevierence
, and it is essential to change our lives.
In conclusion, both of them are Correct your spelling
persevere
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
along with
each other. Because , at the
first we have to accept our Correct article usage
apply
problem
and know about Fix the agreement mistake
problems
it
in detail to Correct pronoun usage
them
analayse
them, Correct your spelling
analyse
analyze
then
planing
and Correct your spelling
planning
try
to do our best is the crucial thing that we Wrong verb form
trying
are oblige
to care about it.Change the verb form
are obliged
Submitted by hastytajassosy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with one central idea supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be clearer and more effective in summarizing your position and main arguments. Work on refining these to better guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to support your points, but the ideas need to be developed further. Use concrete and relevant examples to substantiate your claims and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but you should elaborate on your ideas more thoroughly to address all parts of the prompt.
task achievement
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences develop that idea in a focused way.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, incorporate relevant and specific examples that clearly support your main points. Avoid vague references and make sure the examples you provide are directly linked to the ideas you are discussing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!