some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money

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Some

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are of the opinion that the best way to change the situation

is just accept

Change the verb form

is just to accept

show examples

that,

for

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

unsutible

Correct your spelling

unsuitable

job or lack of money, and some others assume that,

attempt

Wrong verb form

attempting

show examples

and improve

such

Linking Words

situation

Correct article usage

a situation

show examples

it would be better. I agree to some extent that trying would play a key role

to change

Change preposition

in changing

show examples

situation

Add an article

the situation

show examples

This

Linking Words

assay will provide my personal view in detail. On the one hand, it can be certainly said that, for the first step,

people

Use synonyms

have to accept their

occassion

Correct your spelling

occasion

but it does not sufficient for changing their life. Despite the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that dealing

whith

Correct your spelling

with

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the best way,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

litterally

Correct your spelling

literally

escape from their issues. If we do not make a huge effort for that, it will

be remained

Change to the active voice

remain

have remained

show examples

stable.

For example

Linking Words

, lack of money was the main

problem

Use synonyms

for my friend, but she

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

nothing about

this

Linking Words

, and just

expect

Wrong verb form

expected

show examples

that one day

every thing

Correct your spelling

everything

show examples

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be okay.

whereas

Linking Words

, the second step

ussually

Correct your spelling

usually

overlook

Correct subject-verb agreement

overlooks

show examples

, and it is doing

emmidiate

Correct your spelling

immediate

action for our

problem

Use synonyms

. The more

attempt

Fix the agreement mistake

attempts

show examples

, the more benefits.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

are against the above-mentioned view.

Improve

Wrong verb form

Improving

show examples

our selves

Correct your spelling

ourselves

show examples

and

boost

Wrong verb form

boosting

show examples

our

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

are not only

neseccary

Correct your spelling

necessary

but

also

Linking Words

beneficial. It is reasonable that

people

Use synonyms

want to tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and try to build their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. They are adorable.

in addition

Linking Words

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money and

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

tremendous

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

us satisfied, need to

persevierence

Correct your spelling

persevere

, and it is essential to change our lives. In conclusion, both of them are

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

along with

Linking Words

each other. Because , at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first we have to accept our

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and know about

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

in detail to

analayse

Correct your spelling

analyse

analyze

them,

then

Linking Words

planing

Correct your spelling

planning

show examples

and

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

to do our best is the crucial thing that we

are oblige

Change the verb form

are obliged

show examples

to care about it.

Submitted by hastytajassosy on Sun Jan 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with one central idea supported by specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be clearer and more effective in summarizing your position and main arguments. Work on refining these to better guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have made an attempt to support your points, but the ideas need to be developed further. Use concrete and relevant examples to substantiate your claims and make your arguments more persuasive.

task achievement

The response to the task is somewhat complete, but you should elaborate on your ideas more thoroughly to address all parts of the prompt.

task achievement

Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences develop that idea in a focused way.

task achievement

To score higher in task achievement, incorporate relevant and specific examples that clearly support your main points. Avoid vague references and make sure the examples you provide are directly linked to the ideas you are discussing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

What to do next:

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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on the television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organiser of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organiser of the meeting and include •Details about the meeting •The problem you face •What should be done

📝 TASK 2: Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Other say countries should have their own law. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.