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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents believe that learning maths at school is redundant and should not be taught. while others believe that it should remain a foundation subject. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #maths #school #foundation
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In recent decades, studying foundation subjects
such
 as
maths
 is becoming
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a debate. Some people argue that learning
maths
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not crucial.
However
, I am
firmly
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firm
show examples
with
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in
show examples
 the opinion
of
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that
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 studying math ought to be a
cumpolsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
subject
 in schools. On the one hand, many
parents
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that educating
maths
 is considered unimportant. They believe that learning
such
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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statistics
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 merely a waste of time as they are
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as other non-foundation subjects,
such
 as art and
sport
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sports
show examples
.
Moreover
, some of
whom
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 have been
realize
Change the verb form
realizing
realized
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 that they are selly.
However
, others believe that
this
subject
 is as difficult as physics.
Thus
, they prefer to remove math from the
cumpolsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 subjects and teach students only the basic things
such
 as how to count in their daily lives.
On the other hand
, other humans, believe that without
maths
 people cannot finish their daily duties.
Thus
,
maths
 should remain as a foundation material that youngsters must
to
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apply
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learn.
Moreover
, they argue that
childrens
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children
show examples
 in the next generation will not have the ability to do
such
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much
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of
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apply
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easiest tasks.
For instance
, they will not know how to count if they go shopping with their
parents
.
Furthermore
,
parents
 would face a lot of challenges when they speak or deal with their kids as they know nothing about the statistics and they even cannot be able to recognize the names of the shapes around them.
As a result
, educating
maths
 for children is
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 and important. In conclusion, teaching math is considered one of the most popular issues that
parents
 face.
Nevertheless
, it is worse to remove
this
subject
 from the foundation materials as I believe that it is a very
worthfull
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
subject
 to learn from the beginning of life.
Submitted by f201600285 on

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task response
The essay did not fully address the prompt. Both views have not been discussed equally and thoroughly, and your personal opinion is not sufficiently clear.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ideas should flow logically from one to another, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your main points are supported with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen the argument.
language proficiency
Errors in grammar, vocabulary, and spelling are apparent and somewhat hinder communication. Please proofread your essay and work on the accuracy of language.
language proficiency
Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for a variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
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