Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is true that in the modern world, some
animals
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start to enter the phase of becoming extinct
due to
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some actions that happen to them,
such
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as hunting for fun only.
While
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I believe that in the past people depended on
animals
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for
food
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,
however
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, now humans have various resources for
food
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like vegetables. There are some solutions that can be taken to save these
animals
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. The old concept for hunting is to survive.
However
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, now it become a way for entertainment and practice some hopes. The reasons are global warming, uncivilized actions, and cruel
animals
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.
Firstly
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, global warming plays a significant role that affecting wild
animals
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since that high-temperature level kills these
animals
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.
Secondly
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, uncivilized actions
such
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as people who hunt to entertain themselves and spend a good time with friends,
this
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type of behaviour is what put these
animals
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in danger.
Finally
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, cruel
animals
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that depend on other creatures as
food
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, are the reason for the loss of
animals
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.
For example
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, lions usually eat deer as a favourite
food
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. To save these
animals
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, there are some solutions that need to be taken. Forcing criminals to pay a fine,
that is
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amount of 2000 Dollars.
This
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will reduce wild hunting which in return will save the about-to-be-extinct.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, hunting deer is a crime that will cost about 3000 dollars
in addition
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to going to jail. In conclusion, it is correct that some
animals
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are about to be extinct
due to
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uncivilized hunting. I believe that the good way to stop it is to pay fines that cost a lot.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs. Ensure each sentence naturally flows to the next.
task achievement
Clarify some ideas to ensure that they are expressed comprehensively and precisely.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support the reasons and solutions provided.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the context of the discussion about animal extinction.
task achievement
Some practical solutions are provided to address the issue of animal extinction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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