What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is the
arts
. In the succeeding paragraphs, the reason why the state consumes public funds for developing
arts
is discussed,
moreover
, suggesting ways to shift the attention of governments toward public infrastructure
along with
the writer's view on the matter. With regard to the
arts
, various types are found around the world, and many of them can provoke emotional reactions from observers. It is a common fact that these psychological interactions can influence or motivate us in various aspects of life.
For example
, the authority invests many of art equipment in my hometown, as it adds to the beauty of our
city
and
also
charms a lot of overseas visitors, the
city
's GDP climbed to around 11%
last
year,
furthermore
, the happiness index of citizens climb up to around 10% as compared with
last
year, many people have expressed the feeling peaceful, optimistic, and inspired when saw the art equipment.
Hence
, the benefits of art are undeniable for both politicians and residents. As some individuals advocate for allocating resources to more tangible needs, they believe that the disadvantages of investing in the
arts
gradually outweigh the advantages.
For instance
, many elders in the
city
are suffering
such
as respiratory problems, or cardiac problems, the major reason is that the level of pollution is suddenly increasing because of the huge number of visitors coming to the
city
causing traffic contamination. In conclusion, the benefits of investing in the
arts
are undeniable, but it's crucial to acknowledge the accompanying increase in pollution levels in the
city
. In my personal opinion, the regime should allocate additional funds to address pollution
while
also
reconsidering the allocation of resources for
arts
investment.
Submitted by rosolook on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a competent level of coherence and cohesion, yet there is room for improvement. Ensure that each main point is elaborated with a clear structure and fully developed arguments. Use a variety of linking words and maintain clear logical sequencing throughout the essay.
task achievement
You addressed the essay prompt and explored relevant ideas, but to increase your score, work on fully developing your response to all parts of the task. Make sure that every idea is fully explained and directly relates to the question. Provide a balanced discussion with a clear position throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural identity
  • Societal values
  • Underfunding
  • Innovation
  • Cultural diversity
  • Community engagement
  • Social cohesion
  • Necessities
  • Enrichment
  • Tourism
  • Job creation
  • Urban revitalization
  • Educational programs
  • Heritage preservation
  • Public-private partnerships
  • National culture
  • Accessibility
  • Engagement
  • Digital platforms
  • Audience demographics
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