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Band 6

Global environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nations not of poorer nations Do you agree with this opinion?

#responsibility #nations
In recent years, environmental degradation has become
a global problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
a global problem
global problems
show examples
 around the world. Some people believe that only rich
countries
 should take up the responsibility for conservation and recovery of the environment.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
 point. First and foremost, people should recognize the fact that in rich
countries
, there is a wealth of intellectual human
resources
 that have participated in addressing environmental issues. To illustrate, it is obvious that as regards the educational system, higher quality has been guaranteed so that these
countries
 can reap the benefits of multiple scientists and researchers to cope with these issues.
For instance
, many inventions of vehicles that use alternative energy
resources
such
 as solar power in the USA or Europe.
Additionally
,prosperous
countries
 have larger financial
resources
 to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 environmental - related funds and concentrate on tackling them.
For example
, the USA has had a distinct fine only for the environment.
On the other hand
, undeveloped
countries
 do not have enough
resources
 to engage in dealing with pollution, but they are a culprit for numerous adverse conditions. On account of industrialism, the regions aim to boost the economy by means of exploration which significantly generates greenhouse emissions or deforestation. A good case in point would be that after the economic revolution, India was one of the
countries
 that
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 the highest amount of fumes into the atmosphere. In conclusion, I disagree that only wealthy
countries
 should contribute to combating environmental issues.
Although
 they have sufficient
resources
 , all the regions have to participate in dealing with
global- scale
Correct your spelling
global-scale
show examples
 problems,
Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on

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Task Achievement
Task response could be improved by ensuring a clear position throughout the essay. While the overall response is adequate, there could be a more thorough exposition of your argument with a stronger balance of discussion between the responsibilities of rich and poorer nations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a basic level of coherence and cohesion, but more complex structures and clearer topic sentences could be used to enhance logical progression. Also, try to avoid repetition of ideas and ensure paragraphing is clear and contributes to the overall flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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