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Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems?

#people #language #communication #outweigh
When it comes to the issue of inventing a new
language
 for international communication, a significant
number
 of inhabitants stand with different kinds of views.
While
 a good
number
 of individuals tend to take
this
 issue as rosy, others seem to hold the opposite trend.
However
, I am going to outline both sides of
this
 issue before giving a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, a great
number
 of merits come from
this
 affair in many ways. The first and foremost point is that many
people
 would not accept a new
language
 because it would be artificial and not based on any culture.
In addition
,
people
 would have to spend time to learn the grammar and the words of the new
language
. Another worth mentioning point is that promoting a new
language
 would require financial support and a lot of time. To cite an example, in some countries
such
 as China and India, there are many languages because it is financially unrealistic to teach everyone in poor areas the same
language
.
Although
this
 might be achieved
finally
, it will take as long as a hundred years or even more.
However
, it
also
 seems to be more likely to come up with a couple of advantages.
To begin
 with, if a
language
 is being used as an international
language
 all over the world, the pace of the
overall
 communication will be increased among the
people
 living all around the globe. Apart from that,
people
 will be able to exchange ideas and information instantly without facing any
language
 barriers.
To sum up
, having illustrated both sides of
this
 affair, I would like to state my opinion that I strongly disagree with
this
 statement as it comes up with a good
number
 of demerits.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
You have provided some structure to the essay, with a recognizable introduction and conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be improved with better transitions and paragraph organization. Consider using clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices.
task achievement
While you have addressed the question and provided arguments for both sides, the response fails to develop these points fully. It would benefit the essay to elaborate on ideas with more precision and depth, and include specific examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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