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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems?

#people #language #communication #outweigh
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When it comes to the issue of inventing a new
language
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 for international communication, a significant
number
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 of inhabitants stand with different kinds of views.
While
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 a good
number
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 of individuals tend to take
this
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 issue as rosy, others seem to hold the opposite trend.
However
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, I am going to outline both sides of
this
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 issue before giving a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, a great
number
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 of merits come from
this
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 affair in many ways. The first and foremost point is that many
people
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 would not accept a new
language
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 because it would be artificial and not based on any culture.
In addition
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,
people
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 would have to spend time to learn the grammar and the words of the new
language
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. Another worth mentioning point is that promoting a new
language
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 would require financial support and a lot of time. To cite an example, in some countries
such
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 as China and India, there are many languages because it is financially unrealistic to teach everyone in poor areas the same
language
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.
Although
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this
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 might be achieved
finally
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, it will take as long as a hundred years or even more.
However
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, it
also
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 seems to be more likely to come up with a couple of advantages.
To begin
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 with, if a
language
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 is being used as an international
language
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 all over the world, the pace of the
overall
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 communication will be increased among the
people
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 living all around the globe. Apart from that,
people
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 will be able to exchange ideas and information instantly without facing any
language
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 barriers.
To sum up
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, having illustrated both sides of
this
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 affair, I would like to state my opinion that I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement as it comes up with a good
number
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 of demerits.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
You have provided some structure to the essay, with a recognizable introduction and conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be improved with better transitions and paragraph organization. Consider using clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices.
task achievement
While you have addressed the question and provided arguments for both sides, the response fails to develop these points fully. It would benefit the essay to elaborate on ideas with more precision and depth, and include specific examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • International communication
  • Cultural unity
  • Trade and business facilitation
  • Language barriers
  • Global education systems
  • International diplomacy
  • Political negotiations
  • Linguistic and cultural identities
  • Resistance
  • Native languages
  • Implementation challenges
  • Vocabulary and grammar rules
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