Being a celebrity - such as a famous film or sport personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems

Some
people
think that being a celebrity
such
as a famous film or
sport
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sports
show examples
personality brings
problem
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problems
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as well as
benefits. True or not depends
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on people
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people have any
Verb problem
people's
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perspective about
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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things. In my country there is many
actress
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actresses
show examples
or
Correct word choice
and
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actor
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actors
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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have
glamor
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glamour
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daily life and showed about their daily activities on social media and
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in real-life
show examples
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
. On the one hand,
for example
, they
active
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are active
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to joined
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in joining
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social
activity
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activities
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,
help
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helping
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other humans who
needed
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need
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helps
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help
bits of help
show examples
and gave motivation how to care about around
us
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
, celebrities have
big
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a big
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impact
to
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on
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sharing information
what
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about what
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happens at the moment and
as a
result
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result,
show examples
it will be fast giving news to other
people
.
That is
Correct article usage
a benefits
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benefits
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benefit
show examples
when the artist uses their popularity. Meanwhile, many public
figure
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figures
show examples
had
problem
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problems
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about
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with
show examples
their life. When they do anything it will
be expose
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be exposed
show examples
in
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on
show examples
television or
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in news
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news letter
Correct your spelling
newsletter
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.
Nevertheless
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Nevertheless,
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some artist
likes
Wrong verb form
like
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making
problem
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problems
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with other
people
or
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
other famous person
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another famous person
other famous people
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.
Their someone
Correct pronoun usage
Someone
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who
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is closed
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closed
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close
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with
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to
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them will be impacted
,
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apply
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because humans know how to get specific information when they
searches
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search
show examples
with
person
Add an article
the person
a person
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who
Add a missing verb
is closed
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closed
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close
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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the celebrity.
Consequently
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Consequently,
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their family will be disturbed
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
their actions. It is
look
Verb problem
apply
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not
big
Add an article
a big
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deal when the actress or actor
growth
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grows
show examples
because of their
problem
. In my point of view and my conclusion, some public
figure
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figures
show examples
have a strength and
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life but
on the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
they have to
showed
Change the form of the verb
show
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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attitude to their fans and
also
they have to
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
more benefits to other
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they have big impacts to influence many humans.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Task response could be improved by directly addressing the essay prompt and ensuring that the response is structured to both evaluate and compare the benefits and problems of being a celebrity. It would be beneficial to provide a clear opinion that is developed throughout the essay with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from better coherence and cohesion. Logical connectors and transition phrases should be used to improve the essay's flow. Paragraphs should be structured with a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. An introduction with a clear thesis statement and a concluding paragraph summarizing the main points are needed.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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