Being a celebrity - such as a famous film or sport personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems

Some
people
think that being a celebrity
such
as a famous film or
sport
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sports
show examples
personality brings
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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as well as
benefits. True or not depends
Change preposition
on people
show examples
people have any
Verb problem
people's
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perspective about
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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things. In my country there is many
actress
Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
show examples
or
Correct word choice
and
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actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have
glamor
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glamour
show examples
daily life and showed about their daily activities on social media and
Change preposition
in real-life
show examples
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
. On the one hand,
for example
, they
active
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are active
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to joined
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in joining
show examples
social
activity
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activities
show examples
,
help
Wrong verb form
helping
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other humans who
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
helps
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help
bits of help
show examples
and gave motivation how to care about around
us
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
, celebrities have
big
Add an article
a big
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impact
to
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on
show examples
sharing information
what
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about what
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happens at the moment and
as a
result
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result,
show examples
it will be fast giving news to other
people
.
That is
Correct article usage
a benefits
show examples
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
when the artist uses their popularity. Meanwhile, many public
figure
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figures
show examples
had
problem
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problems
show examples
about
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with
show examples
their life. When they do anything it will
be expose
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be exposed
show examples
in
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on
show examples
television or
Change preposition
in news
show examples
news letter
Correct your spelling
newsletter
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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Nevertheless,
show examples
some artist
likes
Wrong verb form
like
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making
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with other
people
or
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
other famous person
Change the wording
another famous person
other famous people
show examples
.
Their someone
Correct pronoun usage
Someone
show examples
who
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is closed
show examples
closed
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close
show examples
with
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to
show examples
them will be impacted
,
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apply
show examples
because humans know how to get specific information when they
searches
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search
show examples
with
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
who
Add a missing verb
is closed
show examples
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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the celebrity.
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
their family will be disturbed
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
their actions. It is
look
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
deal when the actress or actor
growth
Replace the word
grows
show examples
because of their
problem
. In my point of view and my conclusion, some public
figure
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figures
show examples
have a strength and
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life but
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
they have to
showed
Change the form of the verb
show
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
attitude to their fans and
also
they have to
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
more benefits to other
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they have big impacts to influence many humans.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Task response could be improved by directly addressing the essay prompt and ensuring that the response is structured to both evaluate and compare the benefits and problems of being a celebrity. It would be beneficial to provide a clear opinion that is developed throughout the essay with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from better coherence and cohesion. Logical connectors and transition phrases should be used to improve the essay's flow. Paragraphs should be structured with a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. An introduction with a clear thesis statement and a concluding paragraph summarizing the main points are needed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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