Being a celebrity - such as a famous film or sport personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems
Some
people
think that being a celebrity such
as a famous film or sport
personality brings Change the noun form
sports
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
as well as
benefits. True or not depends Change preposition
on people
people have any
perspective about Verb problem
people's
that
things.
In my country there is many Correct determiner usage
those
actress
Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
or
Correct word choice
and
actor
, Fix the agreement mistake
actors
they
have Correct pronoun usage
who
glamor
daily life and showed about their daily activities on social media and Change the spelling
glamour
Change preposition
in real-life
real-life
. On the one hand, Correct your spelling
real life
for example
, they active
Add a missing verb
are active
to joined
social Change preposition
in joining
activity
, Fix the agreement mistake
activities
help
other humans who Wrong verb form
helping
needed
Wrong verb form
need
helps
and gave motivation how to care about around Change the wording
help
bits of help
us
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Moreover
, celebrities have big
impact Add an article
a big
to
sharing information Change preposition
on
what
happens at the moment and Change preposition
about what
as a
result
it will be fast giving news to other Add a comma
result,
people
. That is
Correct article usage
a benefits
benefits
when the artist uses their popularity.
Meanwhile, many public Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
figure
had Change to a plural noun
figures
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
about
their life. When they do anything it will Change preposition
with
be expose
Change the verb form
be exposed
in
television or Change preposition
on
Change preposition
in news
news letter
. Correct your spelling
newsletter
Nevertheless
some artist Add a comma
Nevertheless,
likes
making Wrong verb form
like
problem
with other Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
or same
Correct article usage
the same
of
Change preposition
as
other famous person
. Change the wording
another famous person
other famous people
Their someone
who Correct pronoun usage
Someone
Add a missing verb
is closed
closed
Replace the word
close
with
them will be impactedChange preposition
to
,
because humans know how to get specific information when they Remove the comma
apply
searches
with Change the verb form
search
person
who Add an article
the person
a person
Add a missing verb
is closed
closed
Replace the word
close
with
the celebrity. Change preposition
to
Consequently
their family will be disturbed Add a comma
Consequently,
because
their actions. It is Add the preposition
because of
look
not Verb problem
apply
big
deal when the actress or actor Add an article
a big
growth
because of their Replace the word
grows
problem
.
In my point of view and my conclusion, some public figure
have a strength and Fix the agreement mistake
figures
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
about
their life but Change preposition
in
on the other
hand
they have to Add a comma
hand,
showed
Change the form of the verb
show
positive
attitude to their fans and Correct article usage
a positive
also
they have to brings
more benefits to other Wrong verb form
bring
people
,
because they have big impacts to influence many humans.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
Task response could be improved by directly addressing the essay prompt and ensuring that the response is structured to both evaluate and compare the benefits and problems of being a celebrity. It would be beneficial to provide a clear opinion that is developed throughout the essay with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from better coherence and cohesion. Logical connectors and transition phrases should be used to improve the essay's flow. Paragraphs should be structured with a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. An introduction with a clear thesis statement and a concluding paragraph summarizing the main points are needed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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