It is more important to invest in further education rather than to gain work experience after finishing university in order to find a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern era, after finishing university, many humans believe that investing in postgraduate is more vital than gaining work-related skills when it comes to finding glamorous job positions. In this
essay, I will focus on further
education and describe my opinions with examples.
To begin
with this
statement, in my perspective, the majority of people prefer to invest further
in academics because to achieve a post-graduate degree and to become a Ph.D.
or professional is not only reliable to gain well-paid job’s employment but Change the punctuation
PhD
also
for better their long-term. In addition
, getting a degree from educational institutions, such
as Stanford academy
, and Cambridge University, plays a significant role for students, Capitalize word
Academy
due to
the fact that ,for higher positions, a large number of employers may look for these skilful workers or professionals. For instance
, company managers, engineers and doctors need the qualifications and their relevant knowledge from academic institutions or organizations.
On the other hand
, after finishing an undergraduate degree, numerous students think that gaining work experience is essential for practice and getting a job occupation instead
of achieving further
knowledge. Although
, to become an expert or successful person in a particular field, qualifications or certificates from a university Correct word choice
However
require
in society in order to find a good career rather than social skills at a high-paid salary workplace. Wrong verb form
are required
According to
research, despite qualification and social skills are
necessary for the employment of individuals, white collars are privileged groups among populations.
In conclusion, in spite of the fact that pursuing advanced knowledge from educational Wrong verb form
being
institution
and collecting work experiences are interdependent for those who are seeking excellent employment, Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
as well as
work-life balance is important. Nonetheless
, it should be depended on the final decision of human beings.Submitted by thurasoe1992.ac on
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coherence cohesion
Essay exhibits poor logical structure with unclear progression of ideas, which hinders its coherence. It is essential to organize paragraphs well, using a clear topic sentence to introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that reinforces the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and are not effectively articulated. Introductions should provide a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt, while conclusions must effectively summarize the main arguments presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but lack sufficient development and support, often relying on general statements rather than concrete examples or evidence. Employ specific examples to illustrate each main point and provide an in-depth analysis for more persuasive argumentation.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
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