many people work long hours,leaving very little time for leisure activities.Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?
Nowadays,
due to
the expenses and challenges of the modern lifestyle, fewer people can have enough free time
. This
issue could be the main reason for working long hours and spending less time
on other types of activities. However
, this
way of working has its pros and cons. In this
essay, l will look at both sides and present my opinion.
Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of working a lot. Money could be named as one of the major positives of working for a longer time
. It is an undeniable fact that having a bigger salary will result in fewer financial problems, therefore
employees have no choice but to spend more hours in the workplace.
Another plus point of spending more time
in the office can result in a better job position for the employees. As you may know, a promotion may put you in a better financial condition so many prefer to take extra time
in the workplace, as this
promotion may cause major changes in the lifestyle and social rank of an employee. Take bank clerks as an example staying two more hours can add 20 per cent to their monthly salary.
Turning to the other side of the argument, this
amount of extra work in some cases leads to different types of health issues. A person who puts all his mind on a career may not have the chance to have enough physical activities and regular rest time
, which could endanger every individual health condition.
Another disadvantage of not having free time
may bring so many negative consequences in terms of family roles, particularly for the parents. Putting your work tasks as a priority may have unrecoverable damages for the family because of not being there enough. For instance
, a study shows that parents who have less contact with their kids may put infants in a serious challenge as they grow up.
To sum up
, being at work despite having its plus points such
as having a bigger salary and getting a better job position may also
bring some negatives like health issues and lack of attention to the family members. In my opinion, having a proper work-life balance can be the most beneficial method in life.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. While you did have an introduction and conclusion, some paragraphs seemed to lack clear topic sentences followed by supporting details and examples.
examples
Use examples that are specific and clearly linked to the point you are trying to make. Your examples could be more detailed to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
relevance
Aim to link your main points more clearly to the overall topic to help reinforce the relevance of each argument in relation to the question.
flow
Work on progression of ideas; try to enhance the flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next, and ensure that each paragraph logically progresses from the previous one.
taskCompletion
Task achievement can be improved by making certain that all aspects of the prompts are addressed equally and fully, elaborating on both the advantages and disadvantages with equal measure and clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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