Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?

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At
this
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time,
festivals
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play an important role in our lives. But today, the debate centres on whether or not we need to fund them.
While
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a few
people
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are in favour of spending on
festivals
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, the other group believes that they should not be wasted. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the occasions should be prepared without considering the finances. One of the main reasons why public
festivals
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must be celebrated is that we want to keep our culture, traditions and history alive. Only through
festivals
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can
people
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learn more about the culture and have time to relax from their hectic schedules.
Also
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, when
people
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spend some money on
festivals
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, I believe it is for a good cause.
For example
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: In India, most
people
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give away food in their community as part of their
festivals
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.
This
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is beneficial to the community
as well as
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society.
Also
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, the holidays create a connection between society and adults.
This
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activity helps individuals make more contacts that will help them in future endeavours.
For example
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, on Diwali,
people
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celebrate
together with
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family, friends and neighbours. They
also
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have the opportunity to meet new
people
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in their area, which helps them make contacts and use them in the future. Nowadays,
people
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travel to other places to experience and learn about the traditions there,
such
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as Christmas in other countries, which promotes faith in their deity.
This
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is expensive, but it strengthens the image of the country and helps promote tourism. In conclusion, public
festivals
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are more important than money for the preservation of culture and traditions. Apart from that, they
also
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have a great impact on the tourism industry, which
also
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contributes to the growth of the economy.

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coherence cohesion
The essay has an identifiable structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas could be better streamlined, and the logical flow can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills. Aim to construct paragraphs that begin with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that reinforces the main point.
task achievement
The response to the task is overall adequate but needs further development. It is critical to fully address all parts of the prompt. Although you provide a clear opinion, the main ideas could be expanded with more focused analysis and development. Strive to present comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question, and consider discussing possible counterarguments to strengthen your position.
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