Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?
At
this
time, festivals
play an important role in our lives. But today, the debate centres on whether or not we need to fund them. While
a few people
are in favour of spending on festivals
, the other group believes that they should not be wasted. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the occasions should be prepared without considering the finances.
One of the main reasons why public festivals
must be celebrated is that we want to keep our culture, traditions and history alive. Only through festivals
can people
learn more about the culture and have time to relax from their hectic schedules. Also
, when people
spend some money on festivals
, I believe it is for a good cause. For example
: In India, most people
give away food in their community as part of their festivals
. This
is beneficial to the community as well as
society.
Also
, the holidays create a connection between society and adults. This
activity helps individuals make more contacts that will help them in future endeavours. For example
, on Diwali, people
celebrate together with
family, friends and neighbours. They also
have the opportunity to meet new people
in their area, which helps them make contacts and use them in the future. Nowadays, people
travel to other places to experience and learn about the traditions there, such
as Christmas in other countries, which promotes faith in their deity. This
is expensive, but it strengthens the image of the country and helps promote tourism.
In conclusion, public festivals
are more important than money for the preservation of culture and traditions. Apart from that, they also
have a great impact on the tourism industry, which also
contributes to the growth of the economy.Submitted by dshansika97 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has an identifiable structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas could be better streamlined, and the logical flow can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills. Aim to construct paragraphs that begin with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that reinforces the main point.
task achievement
The response to the task is overall adequate but needs further development. It is critical to fully address all parts of the prompt. Although you provide a clear opinion, the main ideas could be expanded with more focused analysis and development. Strive to present comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question, and consider discussing possible counterarguments to strengthen your position.