In today's world people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disavantages?
In light of the proliferation of technological gadgets,
smartphones
have become an integral part of life. This
author believes that the advantages of possessing a mobile phone outweigh the drawbacks.
The most advantageous factor of owning a smartphone is its convenience in education. There are several ways in which smartphones
can aid learners, they can have access to necessary information which provides knowledge for their learning. In other words
, users
can search for data anywhere which means students are able to approach the essential details to supply their research. From prior knowledge, major Vietnam learners utilize their phones to search for information on the internet to assist their work instead
of attending the library to borrow or buy books.
Another beneficial motive that can be considered is the ability to use the GPS-enabled system which is covered all of the world. There are many different types of apps which can navigate the location of the owner and give accurate instructions to other positions. Pedestrians or drivers can search for directions without asking anyone around. Taking Google Maps as an example, it is evident that the convenience it makes has brought millions of users
per day, making it the most popular software in navigation.
On the other hand
, many critics argue that mobile users
can be addicted to their devices, which is a serious problem nowadays. One of the major concerns is the potential for excessive screen time and its impact on their physical and mental health. Spending too much time on smartphones
can lead to issues such
as eye strain, poor posture, and a sedentary lifestyle. However
, this
can be solved by limiting the usage time, propagating
the harm of the phones to residents to decrease the on-screentime. Correct word choice
and propagating
Consequently
, owning a phone improves the experience of users
, not damage them.
Taking all points into account, the potential addiction to smartphones
is outweighed by the opportunity to gain vital knowledge and the convenience of navigation systems. Hence
, this
writer has demonstrated the opinion relates to this
statement.Submitted by [email protected] on
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introduction conclusion present
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction did not fully set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion was somewhat abrupt. Each of those paragraphs should have a clearly defined purpose.
logical structure
The essay could be enhanced by creating a more logical structure. The main points were somewhat supported, but the overall flow could be improved by arranging your arguments in a more persuasive manner and by using clearer topic sentences.
relevant specific examples
While the essay provided specific examples, integrating additional case studies or statistics could enhance the argument's credibility. Try to include a broader range of examples to substantiate your points.
complete response
Ensure that your response directly and sufficiently addresses the essay prompt throughout the essay. The task was only partially answered with more emphasis required on analyzing both advantages and disadvantages equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While the points made were relevant, they need to be explored in more depth for a higher band score. Utilize a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate your ideas more clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.