25. Some developed countries have reduced the number of school hours. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Undoubtedly, schools play a prominent role in everyone's life,
however
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, many nations are minimizing the hour of school as it consumes more than 10
hours
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of student's daily schedule.
This
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change has numerous positive effects on society including an increase in their skills and bonding with family. To commence with,
due to
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the department
hours
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as well as
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hard study, pupils can not manage to think about themselves. If students have some leisure time,
then
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they can easily find an opportunity to boost their abilities in many fields.
For example
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, one of my friends was a good player in cricket,
however
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,
due to
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school, he never got a chance to improve his quality and be a part of the national team.
As a result
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, some teenagers are unable to do the activities in which they are interested
instead
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they only focus on textbooks.
Furthermore
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, In many families, children are not spending
hours
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with their parents as they join different classes and can not find a suitable time for them.
For instance
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, when I was 15 years old, my school duration was 9am to 3pm and later on I went for tuition classes from 4pm to 9pm,
as a result
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, I never sat with my family to share my feelings.
Therefore
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, the Bonding between guardians and teenagers would improve by sharing many feelings with them. In conclusion, limitations on academic
hours
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would change the lives of children in good ways. The family bond will be improved and pupils will receive the chance to sharpen their qualities.
Submitted by upinder7696 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by evidence or examples.
task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position on whether the reduction of school hours is positive or negative.
task achievement
Although there is a reasonable level of language control, consider varying sentence structures and using more complex grammar where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute clearly to the overarching argument.
task achievement
The essay uses personal examples to explain the impact of reduced school hours, which adds depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stress and burnout
  • self-directed learning
  • conventional curriculum
  • family bonds
  • academic rigor
  • gaps in knowledge
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • extracurricular activities
  • supplement
  • personalized and adaptive learning
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