In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone

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Whether in

this

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modern globe, each person should possess a mobile

phone

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is a recurring argument. The writer contends that the benefits of connecting humans and exploring

knowledge

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outweigh the drawbacks of personal harassment and

children

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can approach bad information. One of the most advantageous factors is improving connection. When everyone has a

phone

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, they can communicate through social media and make new friends from all over the world.

Moreover

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, with

this

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high-tech device, humans can post memories through pictures or statuses on Facebook or Instagram to share with others.

As a result

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, video calls and chats are popular in every

places

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place

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from every person based on smartphones.

Thus

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people

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joining with others leads to an international link between a variety of nations through the functions of smartphones. Exploring

knowledge

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also

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considered. The Internet is a lived encyclopedia, individuals find out all the information by searching on it. Take students for an example, they can know more about any categories and the methods of calculation if they use Google or Microsoft Edge and

then

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easily get the information to present or to gain their study.

Therefore

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, technological devices specifically smartphones bring humans to achieve the pinnacle of

knowledge

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However

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, the drawbacks of personal harassment and problems when transporting

children

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who own phones need to be discussed.

People

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can lose their bank account or expose their

phone

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numbers, and their addresses and they are held by bad

people

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. Another point is

also

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needs to be recognised is that

children

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at a young age keep a

phone

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themselves can bring them to a harmful approach to

knowledge

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or they can be addicted to games.

This

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may be true, but communicating with different

people

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on social and learning new things from the Internet

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apply

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will encourage them to do something useful and help them to build up their confidence.

Consequently

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, phones push them ahead of the developed world. In conclusion, the possible impact of personal harassment and the substandard in approaching

knowledge

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children

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is outweighed by the opportunity to improve relationships and gain comprehension.

Hence

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, it shows clearly the beneficial aspect of owning a smartphone.

Mon Jan 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

- Ensure that your essay presents ideas in a logical order that enhances the reader's understanding. The connection between ideas could be improved for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

- Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion; however, make sure they are succinct and more closely aligned with the essay's body content for stronger impact.

coherence cohesion

- While your main points are supported to some extent, you could enhance your essay by providing more relevant examples and details that directly support your arguments and clearly illustrate them.

task achievement

- Address the prompt fully by ensuring your response covers all aspects of the topic and maintains a consistent argument throughout the essay.

task achievement

- Your ideas are mostly clear, but strive for a more comprehensive explanation of points to ensure the reader fully grasps your stance on the topic and reasoning behind it.

task achievement

- Include more relevant and specific examples that directly correlate with the topic to substantiate your arguments and add depth to your essay. This would make your writing more persuasive and authoritative.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant access
real-time updates
portable offices
emergency services
social media
navigation
cybersecurity
screen time
digital detox
environmental footprint

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's lives. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think universities should provide knowledge and skills related to a future career; others think the true function of a university is to give access to knowledge for its own sake. What is your opinion of the main function of university?