In today's world ,amy people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone ouweigh the disadantages?
Smartphones have become popular devices worldwide coming up with lots of its benefits and
also
some drawbacks. This
essay believes that having a smartphone can offer more advantages than disadvantages via the limitless range of information.
The most beneficial pros of this
kind of phone is the enormous amount of information through the Internet and social media. This
is due to
the fact that you can find everything on the Internet in a short time because there are about 6 billion users in this
field so the ratio of unfounded things was extremely low. For example
, if you type what you want to find to Google, it will give you millions of results in under 1 second. Hence
, the root benefit of phones is the wide number of data you could
find.
Wrong verb form
can
In contrast
, everything has two sites, one is good and one is bad and so do these gadgets as they have made a large number of people become addictive
and dependent. Because of its massive data range, there will be a lot of services that fit up with every kind of Replace the word
addicted
humans
and, Fix the agreement mistake
human
as a result
, they will just focus on what they like. Take Vietnam as an example for this
statement, this
is a developing country but its digital society is enormous, everyone has Correct article usage
a phones
phones
even though Fix the agreement mistake
phone
that
their income Correct word choice
apply
was
not so affordable, Wrong verb form
is
this
is because of their addictiveness, consequently
, many citizens have suffered from bankruptcy. Appealing services on the Internet have
become a problem that governments in Correct subject-verb agreement
has
this
country and, possibly, every country could not deal with.
Another advantage of smartphones is its
mobility. These gadgets are small enough for you to put in your pocket and move Correct pronoun usage
their
to
everywhere you want, you can call everybody in Change preposition
apply
this
world in
anywhere at Change preposition
apply
every
time. So that your smartphone could be the most powerful invention.
Taking everything into account, Correct determiner usage
any
although
there are some disadvantages which relate to the addictiveness, the pros of these phones can outweigh these negative sites. Hence
, this
writer has illustrated the pros and cons of owning mobile gadgets.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
While your main ideas are generally relevant, they could be developed further. In your essay, each paragraph should ideally present one clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea in depth. For task achievement, ensure that you are also addressing all parts of the task and providing a clear answer throughout the essay, including the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is fairly logical, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. Coherence is achieved not only through a logical sequence but also the use of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases. Consider revising to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs to make the text more cohesive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!