Childhood obesity is a crucial issue in Australia, affecting a large number of students. Many suggest that education should play an important role in children’s health and can help combat this problem. This essay will discuss how schools require to monitor student’s eating habits and exercise levels to address overweight children.

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Childhood obesity is a crucial issue in Australia, affecting a large number of
students
. Many suggest that education should play an important role in children’s health and can help combat
this
problem.
This
essay will discuss how schools are required to monitor
students
’ eating habits and exercise levels to address overweight children. On one hand, formal institutions should monitor what young people eat to promote healthy eating habits. First and foremost, by providing healthy meals and snacks, schools can influence children’s dietary choices which can lead to a number in obesity.
For example
, educational institutions should provide fresh fruits and vegetables
instead
of sugary snacks in the lunchroom.
Additionally
,
this
approach is beneficial for
students
developing better eating habits which can improve their
overall
health.
As a result
, it is essential for schools to manage the food choices available to
students
.
On the other hand
, educational facilities should encourage regular physical activity among
students
during school hours.
This
is because by incorporating exercise into the curriculum day,
students
are more likely to stay active and healthy.
For instance
, scheduling daily physical education classes and offering extracurricular sports can motivate children to engage in more physical activity.
Furthermore
, increased physical activity contributes to maintaining a healthy weight and
overall
fitness.
Consequently
, the classroom environment
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a vital role in encouraging physical well-being among their peers which can be significantly useful in reducing their health problems. In conclusion, both dietary monitoring and promoting exercise are essential in addressing childhood overweight issues. Formal institutions have an important responsibility to ensure that
students
have access to healthy diet choices and opportunities for physical activities.
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clarify concepts
Clarify the connection between healthy meals and the reduction of obesity, as the phrase 'which can lead to a number in obesity' is a bit unclear.
grammar
Be careful with phrasing and subject-verb agreement throughout the essay to enhance clarity, such as 'The classroom environment play' which should be 'The classroom environment plays'.
paragraph structure
Strengthen the link between paragraphs and ideas by using transition words or phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
introduction strength
The essay introduces the topic clearly and swiftly transitions into defining the thesis statement.
strong conclusive ending
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments made and reinforces the main thesis.
use of examples
Examples such as 'providing fresh fruits instead of sugary snacks' and 'scheduling daily physical education classes' provide specificity to the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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