IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

#world #people #smartphone
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In today's digital age, a variety of citizens have a private
smartphone
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.
This
Linking Words
 writer
believe
Change the verb form
believes
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 that because of the convenience of contact with other
people
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 and searching for
information
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it can be easy to get addicted. It must be recognised that with a small
smartphone
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, you can contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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everyone from everywhere.
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
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 nowadays invent many tools to help
people
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 with calling or chatting with others,
such
Linking Words
 as telecommunication networks and the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. It is becoming easier to communicate abroad by
a
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphone
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.
Also
Linking Words
 having a private
smartphone
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 can help
people
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 call the required for help when they have an urgent problem. Take America
for example
Linking Words
, every year they dispose
more
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of more
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 than 1000 emergencies from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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calling by
smartphone
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 can search for anything
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet with a
smartphone
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.
Information
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were
Wrong verb form
is
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 updated day by day by the citizen or company in many views, with the support from AI technology
that
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apply
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data become more and more detailed and reliable .There are many services that help the user to search the
information
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 like Google or
chat
Capitalize word
Chat
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 GPT, they can get the answer to many types of questions in just 4 or 5 seconds.
By contrast
Linking Words
, using smartphones has a huge problem for users
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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addiction. Because of the convenience and
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
, there are more
people
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 addicted to that, they are immersed in the virtual world created by their own human beings.
This
Linking Words
 thing includes the amount of other different problems
such
Linking Words
 as murder, moral degradation and economic downturn. In conclusion, even though using a
smartphone
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 can make
people
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 addicted, it
also
Linking Words
 has benefits like easy searching for
information
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 or contacting other
people
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.
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively paraphrase the essay question, presenting your opinion unambiguously. Your introduction requires a distinct thesis statement, and your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your essay by grouping similar ideas in the same paragraph and using cohesive devices appropriately. Work on clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each idea relates smoothly to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
What to do next:
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