In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage o owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantage?
Mobile
phones
are increasingly essential for people
's regular life so it is understandable that many citizens own a mobile phone. This
writer argues that the benefits of helping people
to connect to each other and entertainment
outweigh the drawbacks of addiction.
The most beneficial factor of using a smartphone is residents can contact with
each other in just a few seconds. No matter how far they are from their loved ones, they can still be able to communicate and share their thoughts. Change preposition
apply
For example
, in 2020, citizens in many countries had to stay at home due to
the outbreak of Covid-19. With the help of digital devices like smartphones, people
can talk to their friends
and family, share their stories and comfort everyone going through the pandemic.
One advantage of owning a mobile phone is entertainment
. These devices can connect to the Internet and offer users a wide range of entertainment
including games, movies, comics and music. This
will help users relieve their stress and anxiety from their work and study. For instance
, in the USA, teenagers tend to play games and watch movies with their phones
. This
helps them relax and comfort themselves, especially when they do not have friends
or their parents are not home.
However
, some people
say addiction is the biggest disadvantage of mobile phones
. Children and teenagers spend hours using their phones
, refuse to go outside their houses and neglect their schoolwork. This
may be true, but by starting a new hobby and helping them connect with their friends
, they will eventually quit playing games and hang out with their friends
more. Furthermore
, mobile phones
can help children learn better by accessing online textbooks and resources.
In conclusion, the possible impact of children being addicted to their phones
is outweighed by entertainment
and the ability to connect people
. Change preposition
with people
Hence
, smartphones can help learners improve their performance through online resources.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clear and distinct paragraphs that each contain a central idea and are logically connected. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
For task achievement, it is imperative to fully address all parts of the prompt to achieve a higher score. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and develop your arguments with a wider variety of relevant examples. Your response should showcase depth and complexity in idea development to meet the task requirements comprehensively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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