IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #students #study #range #subjects #focus
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, Knowledge is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most valuable resources on the planet.
While
Linking Words
 some believe you should only pursue
one
Use synonyms
 set of subjects, Others believe you should learn a variety of them. In my opinion mastery of the subject is more important than the breadth-oriented approach and I will clarify my vision in
this
Linking Words
 essay. For starters, You will be asked for a particular set of skills when you begin to join the workforce.
One
Use synonyms
 can not simply get involved in any line of work without proper knowledge of the required skill set. Without these resources, You would not be even considered for the job by your employers.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that there are jobs that would ask you for more and even encourage you to do so, Without that important educational subject that you have to know to work in your career, You won't get far.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Some might say that it isn't particularly necessary to go in depth in
one
Use synonyms
 field. You could have
one
Use synonyms
 or two courses and you are up par with someone who has been in the research field because
further
Linking Words
 mastery of the subject is not needed. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, I would advise
one
Use synonyms
 to pursue multiple branches of education. All in all, There is no wrong answer to
this
Linking Words
 question. Any way you look at It, Gaining knowledge will always have Its upsides.
While
Linking Words
 there are benefits to following each way of thinking, I believe that going in-depth in
one
Use synonyms
's field would garner a better result in your
overall
Linking Words
 career.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, giving a clear position throughout the response. It can be improved by providing more nuanced arguments and in-depth discussion that capture all aspects of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are presented in a clear, well-organized manner with logical sequencing. Use a variety of cohesive devices to help connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. Also, strive for clearer topic sentences to introduce your main points.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments better. Specific instances and tangible evidence make your viewpoint more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to create a more complex and sophisticated writing style. Simple sentence forms are evident, which is fine, but to achieve a higher grade, more complex constructs are needed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded
  • interdisciplinary
  • curriculum
  • specialization
  • mastery
  • core curriculum
  • elective options
  • educational systems
  • extracurricular activities
  • job market trends
  • skill set
  • academic rigor
  • vocational skills
  • cognitive flexibility
  • career trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: