Some people believe that the best way to become successful in life is to get university education, while others disagree and think that nowadays is no longer true. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
In recent years, whether
people
should get access to university
to become successful has been a matter of debate. When supporters suppose people
ought to receive higher education in contemporary society. Opponents reckon that they could engage in other fields instead
. This
essay will compare and contrast its benefits and downsides.
On the one hand, studying at university
could acquire specialized knowledge and theoretical knowledge and master practical skills. This
could lay a solid foundation for future careers. Besides
, different courses also
teach students how to think from different perspectives,
and analyze and solve problems. One example is that if a student hopes that he gets some achievement in the field of physics, he will learn theories and do many experiments thanks to advanced labs and professional tutors in universities.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, some people
hold the opinion that having opportunities to study at university
is not a necessary condition to achieve success. For instance
, a little part of people
who have beautiful appearances, are more likely to become actors or influencers. These people
always believe that having more practical skills and experience will be successful. Therefore
, in order to achieve success, people
should accumulate job-related experiences and personal resources.
In my opinion, when people
successfully enter the university
, they are usually required to make a speech, presentation or even a dissertation at the end
of every term. This
has to face heaps of people
, which means that it could boost their confidence and strengthen their communication skills. Moreover
, these experiences are the precondition Change preposition
to
of
being successful.
In conclusion, there are some Change preposition
to
people
who drop out of university
and do very well. However
, this
is a minority of cases. Many successful entrepreneurs indicate that their achievements have a direct link to higher education. To achieve success have many paths, and one of the most important is to receive a formal education first.Submitted by 马修827728 on
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coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer logical structure. Paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and ideas should be more clearly linked together.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are more clearly stated, directly addressing the essay's topic and your personal stance.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support all the main points you discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task, including a more balanced discussion on both views and a clearer personal opinion.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and the comprehensive development of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a singular focus that relates directly back to the essay question.
task achievement
Use a wider range of relevant specific examples to add depth to your arguments and to demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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