IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

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Immigration
Use synonyms
 has a significant impact on the contemporary society. Each year, more and more
people
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 from all over the world decide to leave their home
countries
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 and move to another place.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons and the consequences of
immigration
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. In my view, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
immigration
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 is a strong desire
of
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for
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life quality and
safe
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a safe
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 future. A lot of
people
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 from
so-called
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the so-called
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 Third World move to developed
countries
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 in search of better employment opportunities, and
therefore
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, higher incomes.
Moreover
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, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with
stable
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a stable
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 economy, so
risks
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the risks
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 of losing their savings
also
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 lessen.
For example
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, labour migration from Mexico to the USA is caused by these facts. Other reasons that force whole families to cross borders are wars and various cultural conflicts in their homeland. Many
people
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 migrate, seeking security and
safe
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a safe
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 future for their children.
For instance
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, most of the refugees who arrived in the European Union were escaping from wars.
However
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, sometimes
immigration
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 causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their
countries
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 of destination. First of all, most of the refugees can’t find jobs because of
the
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their
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 lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. That’s why the
countries
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 have to run various refugee assistance programs to help those
people
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. But
disproportionate
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the disproportionate
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 burden of maintaining the immigrants leads to tension in
the
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apply
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society.
Secondly
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, not all of the refugees receive proper asylum, food and medical care. So they are at risk even after crossing the border.
Finally
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, even highly qualified specialists, who seek better employment, often don’t get what they are looking for. In conclusion, I think that
people
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 immigrate to have better life prospects.
However
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, life after
immigration
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 may not always meet
people
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’s expectations. So it’s very important to consider all the possible outcomes and decide whether leaving your homeland is worth it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, and remember to include a distinct introduction and conclusion. Aim to deepen the linkage of ideas between paragraphs by using a broader range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You provided a clear overview of the reasons and consequences of immigration, but strive to provide more specific and developed examples to strengthen your points and make the response wholly pertinent to the task prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
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