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Band 5.5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

#immigration #impact #society #consequences
Immigration
 has a significant impact on the contemporary society. Each year, more and more
people
 from all over the world decide to leave their home
countries
 and move to another place.
This
 essay will examine the reasons and the consequences of
immigration
. In my view, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
immigration
 is a strong desire
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life quality and
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 future. A lot of
people
 from
so-called
Correct article usage
the so-called
show examples
 Third World move to developed
countries
 in search of better employment opportunities, and
therefore
, higher incomes.
Moreover
, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
 economy, so
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
show examples
 of losing their savings
also
 lessen.
For example
, labour migration from Mexico to the USA is caused by these facts. Other reasons that force whole families to cross borders are wars and various cultural conflicts in their homeland. Many
people
 migrate, seeking security and
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 future for their children.
For instance
, most of the refugees who arrived in the European Union were escaping from wars.
However
, sometimes
immigration
 causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their
countries
 of destination. First of all, most of the refugees can’t find jobs because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. That’s why the
countries
 have to run various refugee assistance programs to help those
people
. But
disproportionate
Add an article
the disproportionate
show examples
 burden of maintaining the immigrants leads to tension in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
, not all of the refugees receive proper asylum, food and medical care. So they are at risk even after crossing the border.
Finally
, even highly qualified specialists, who seek better employment, often don’t get what they are looking for. In conclusion, I think that
people
 immigrate to have better life prospects.
However
, life after
immigration
 may not always meet
people
’s expectations. So it’s very important to consider all the possible outcomes and decide whether leaving your homeland is worth it.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, and remember to include a distinct introduction and conclusion. Aim to deepen the linkage of ideas between paragraphs by using a broader range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You provided a clear overview of the reasons and consequences of immigration, but strive to provide more specific and developed examples to strengthen your points and make the response wholly pertinent to the task prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
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