IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
The graph
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
living in four different Asian region countries from 1970 to 2020 with an
esitmate
Correct your spelling
estimate
 of 2030 and 2040
also
.
Overall
, the percentage of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 population
Malaysia
Change preposition
in Malaysia
show examples
 city will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
firstrunner
Correct your spelling
first
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list
while
Thailand
 will be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
. In 1970, the population of Malaysia was around 30% but in 2020 it will increase
drasctically
Correct your spelling
drastically
dramatically
 and
risen
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 85% and
followed
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the trend in 2040.
However
, Indonesia and
Thailand
 citizens were below
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20% in 1970 but Indonesia surpassed the
Thailand
 and Philippines and
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up
 to 50% in 2020.
Further
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 people were between 30% to 50% and till 2020 it faced some downfall during the period. The estimated percentage of people living in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 in Indonesia,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
 will be
nearby
Rephrase
near
show examples
 60%, 55% and 50% respectively in 2040.
Submitted by amit.kumar96101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words thailand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: