Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no disbelief that children should be encouraged to compete or taught to
co-operate
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cooperate
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is
much
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very
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controversial and it has stimulated an energetic debate among
comunal
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communities
across the world. One school of thought asserts that freshers should be motivated
for
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by
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opposition
while
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others
Use synonyms
disbelieve in it.In
this
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essay,
i
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I
show examples
will conclude the result by describing both views. One group of people think that
Correct article usage
the
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young generation should be motivated
for
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by
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rivalry with their age fellows.Because,
due to
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the rivalry the generation will work hard to compete with
other
Correct determiner usage
each other
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and in
this
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way someone can
do
Verb problem
make
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more efforts by watching
others
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.
In contrast
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, some individuals prefer to
taught
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be taught
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mutual working and
make
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apply
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understanding with
others
Use synonyms
rather than opposition, Because
this
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practice will make them more kind and they can feel
others
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.
In Addition
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,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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rivalry
make's
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makes
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the children selfish and they only think for themself and maybe they can
chose
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choose
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the wrong path.
For instance
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, someone can
do cheating
Wrong verb form
cheat
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exams to become superior
than
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to
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others
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, as far as
i
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I
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am concerned youth will
be educate
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be educated
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to affiliate,
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due
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and due
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to
this
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they can become the real power because Unity allows you to build your own tools.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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this
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ability can make someone more useful and the
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one
onecan
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one
with these abilities can succeed more in Life
Submitted by livelygirl127 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer logical structure. You should clearly separate your paragraphs and make sure each one presents a distinct main idea. Additionally, your introduction and conclusion should be clear and directly address the essay prompt. Connecting words should be used to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
You need to fully address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views thoroughly and providing your own opinion in a clear manner. Also, consider developing each point with more detail, ensuring you answer the question directly and expanding your ideas with relevant examples where possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • motivational
  • resilience
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • empathy
  • inclusive
  • collective success
  • fosters
  • determination
  • real-world challenges
  • innovation
  • unhealthy pressure
  • win-at-all-costs mentality
  • social and emotional development
  • communication
  • group problem-solving
  • stress
  • different abilities
  • learning styles
  • balance
  • values
  • competitive spirit
  • collaboration
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