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Band 5.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
Being updated with hot
news
 and aware of everything that occurs in the world is important for
people
 because has an effect on the economic and political situation. Nowadays, more and more
people
 prefer to check the
news
 on the internet rather than go to stalls and buy real newspapers. Certainly, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some various benefits and drawbacks
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 subject.
Firstly
, in the past,
people
 especially in the morning went out, did some exercise , breathed in a fresh atmosphere and bought a newspaper
for understood
Change preposition
to understand
show examples
 what happening and read the headlines and it was really good for their health.
Conversely
, now,
people
 just lie on the sofa pick up their phone and read and it is leading to obesity more and more.
Furthermore
,
people
 who went out to get real newspapers in their hands had more communication with others and made more friends and it is a key to positive feelings and decreased depression.
However
, today,
people
 are enthusiastic about technology and the internet, because they can do, buy and solve everything very easily just with a click.
In addition
, young
people
 like to follow the
news
 about sports or celebrities and so on, and it would be ridiculous to every day pay money for scandals and not in-depth articles,
due to
 that fact, they tend to check the
news
 online without any subscriptions on social media in few minutes. In conclusion, technology and online checking are interesting but I think it will be increasingly a huge addiction among
people
, make bad habits, endanger their health and should be in control.
Submitted by kim on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that ideas are expanded upon appropriately, with clear transitions between them, to improve logical structure. Avoid unrelated or repetitive points.
Task Achievement
Develop the main points with more focused examples and clear explanations, while ensuring that the introduction and conclusion clearly state your position to strengthen the essay. Avoid general or vague statements.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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