It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

It is essential for folks to take

risks

between work and personal lives.

This

statement has advantages over disadvantages

such

as enhancing human

self-esteem

and personal growth development.

Firstly

, being responsible for

risks

will lead to

self-esteem

enhancement.

Self-esteem

is the condition of an individual that represents how satisfied and fulfilled they are for their life.

This

can appear when a person has an achievement or journey they cannot forget because of excitement. An unforgettable journey can be created by taking

risks

in life either moving abroad to another country or getting a new career path suitable to each personality depending on which one prefers. Scientific research states that people who take

risks

become more confident and eager about their lives.

Secondly

, people always need improvement in their personal development. Personal development means rebuilding a negative behaviour

such

as laziness to be productive. Many companies have a program to increase

this

soft skill, particularly for employers who want to pursue a corporate ladder. As an example, the CEO of the company assigns a significant challenge to management trainers to assess their ability to manage

risks

and measure their resilience in the workplace.

Then

, the trainer must be ready when there are some instructions from their managers

instead

of outside of their job desk. Through years of training, they develop enhanced intelligence when dealing with unexpected occurrences. In conclusion,

self-esteem

and personal growth are the advantages of taking

risks

. Individuals should carefully weigh the potential positive outcomes before taking a risk in life.

Submitted by damayanti.nsd on Wed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

The essay satisfactorily addresses the task, but there is room for improvement. Ensure to provide a clearer stance and further elaborate on how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is good, but linking words and phrases can be more effectively used to ensure better fluidity between ideas. Also, make sure the transition between paragraphs is smoother.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, personal anecdotes or well-documented studies could provide stronger evidence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

task achievement

The essay covers both self-esteem and personal growth effectively, tying them into the overall argument about risk-taking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that school is no longer necessary because children can obtain all of the information they need from the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.