Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
These days, technology has been developing really fast, so old ways of communication altered to the newest type and
people
use social media
for a range of work such
as watching events, people
, and so on. while
social media
has several drawbacks, I still believe that cannot overshadow the benefits.
On the one hand, the merits of social media
are so varied. Firstly
, global inhabitants are able to commute with each other and learn about various cultures and customs; consequently
, their knowledge about other countries improve
. Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
Secondly
, some people
should emigrate to other regions for a lot of reasons like job opportunities, treatment, and so forth; as a result
, they are far from their families, so social media
which has a video calls option is the best choice for visiting families and know about their situations. Thirdly
, social media
helps us to visit events and know about them when we are not in them. For instance
, I visited the Olympics, Playing in Paris, the capital city of France, on YouTube.
On the other hand
, Unfortunately, social media
has several demerits. On the one side, people
who have activities on social media
such
as Instagram show the beautiful time of their lives; hence
, populations who follow these people
think that they ought to have lives like theirs. On the other side, Traditional methods of communication help communities to feel more relaxed inasmuch as it give a chance for people
to visit not only families but also
friends and have a good time with them.
In conclusion, it is crucial that social media
helps us to experience different versions of communication and aids us in interacting with a majority of people
; however
, it has some issues that affect our mental health, but I think that the good points can eclipse the bad points.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task response
Make sure to address the task prompt more directly by discussing explicitly whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. Make it very clear in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Try to elaborate more on each point you make to ensure clarity and avoid vague statements. For example, explain how social media interactions lead to better understanding of different cultures.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance the logical flow. Using transitional phrases can help connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and sentence structures to avoid any awkward phrasing. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
task response
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. Real-life scenarios or statistics can make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear single focus. This will help in clearly conveying your arguments without confusing the reader.
task response
Good attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media.
coherence and cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well despite the need for some more direct addressing of the prompt.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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