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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries many parents are interested in home schooling and this trend is gaining popularity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #home #trend #popularity #outweigh
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Schooling at
home
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 is not only becoming popular but it
also
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 seems
fascinated
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fascinating
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 to some parents and despite the some positive
sides
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, I believe that the negative
sides
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 are more than the benefits and I will shed some light on both
sides
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 in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the first advantage of educating offspring at
home
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 is giving proper attention to them which is not given by teachers in educational institutions because every class has a number of
students
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 and the instructor can not focus on one student.
Moreover
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, school fees have risen in
this
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 era and most families cannot afford children's fees burden,
therefore
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, people are willing to educate their kids at
home
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. An international survey,
for instance
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, showed that 65% of parents are supporting homeschooling
due to
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 expensive tuition fees which have been raised in 2022.
Consequently
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, people started thinking about homeschooling. On the other side, the primary disadvantage of educating children in
home
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 schooling is a lack of
confidence
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 and teamwork skills in
students
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 because they are not taught in groups during providing study at house
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 they do not comprehend teamwork.
In contrast
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, institutions provide an atmosphere where there are multiple talented individuals who show their skills and others learn from them.
Also
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, well-educated teachers offer some group discussions to
students
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 and they learn how to work together and gain
confidence
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 from each other.
For example
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, schools altered their way
to educate
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of educating
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students
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 which is impossible at
home
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 schooling and they implemented some new ways to boost children's
confidence
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 and
involved
Wrong verb form
involve
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 them in teams. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
 offers few advantages and seems interesting to some parents
but
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apply
show examples
negative
sides
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 are more noticeable which shows a lack of
confidence
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 and group discussion skills in
students
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.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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Introduction Content
Ensure the introduction directly addresses the question, setting a clear standpoint regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Content Balance
Include a balanced argument with clear and distinct advantages and disadvantages that relate back to the question's main focus.
Cohesive Devices
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the flow of ideas.
Idea Development
Avoid repeating the same ideas; instead, develop and expand on each point with more depth and detail.
Supporting Examples
Support your points with more specific and relevant examples or evidence to demonstrate validity of the arguments presented.
Conclusion Content
Improve the conclusion by clearly summarizing the main points and restating your viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Focus
Ensure that the essay remains focused on the question throughout and that each paragraph contributes directly to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning experiences
  • Academic performance
  • Flexible schedules
  • Educational activities
  • Safe learning environment
  • Bullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Strengthened family bonds
  • Active role
  • Socialization
  • Teamwork
  • Group dynamics
  • Expertise
  • Financial burden
  • Standardized tests
What to do next:
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