It is said that people’s life now is becoming more and more stressful. What are the causes and how to solve it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recent times have, no doubt, witnessed an immense surge in the stress levels of humans.
This
phenomenon can be seen
due to
multifarious factors
such
as higher life standards and global competition.
This
essay intends to explain the reasons and possible remedies to curb
this
grave concern in the following paragraphs. Many reasons account for the increased anxiety issues; the most significant one is the soaring living standards of people
due to
modernization in the world. To be clear, a multitude of advancements provide several comforts to people, and the more comforts available in the market, the more one strives to achieve them, even though there is no necessity.
Thus
, the mindset of accumulating extra
owes to
Verb problem
weight
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
populations anxious. Two-thirds of the mentally tired young adults,
for instance
, are indulged in 'Fast Fashion', purchasing expensive products unnecessarily, especially clothes. The second cause, rising people's stress graphs can be the growth in competition in all sectors of life.
This
can be exemplified by the inevitable volume of unemployed populace, though most folks are highly qualified. Not only
this
, even to acquire a seat in an educational institution, it requires a lot of hard work, and students have to live a burdensome life continuously until they pass out; which brings no guarantee of a bright career. Considering the solutions, mankind needs to reduce their needs and learn to be satiated, having fulfilled the fundamental requirements. Governments, as a matter of urgency, must take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
through campaigns and programs to educate the residents about reasons for stressful lives and distinct coping strategies. Another strategy may involve, creating more job opportunities for all age groups so that livability challenges could be addressed easily. To recapitulate, overcoming mental stress takes, the folks themselves, to minimize their hunger for additional comforts and bureaucrats to pay more attention to these issues, putting adequate efforts and support to reduce the levels of mental distress in citizens.
Submitted by asr.rajni2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the coherence. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which set out and summarize the main points effectively. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by reiterating solutions as well as problems.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with reasons and examples, but aim to provide more detailed and varied examples to better illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompts, touching on both causes and solutions to the issue of stress. However, ideas could be expanded upon further, especially solutions, to demonstrate thorough understanding.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, but they need to be developed more deeply. Be careful not to repeat the same ideas; instead explore additional angles for a more comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided but they are somewhat generic. Specific, concrete examples and perhaps statistics or studies would enhance the argument and show a deeper level of analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: