Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It would not be wrong to state that money is the most important factor. So, based on

this

notion, a wide spectrum of people think that

one

should opt for a well-paid job even if

one

is not passionate about what they do. And I completely disagree with the above statement. It is certainly true that lucrative remuneration tends to tempt a majority of citizens;

however

, a lot of them fail to realize that monetary value cannot buy everything, including happiness. If

one

accepts a job only because of their high income, there's a high chance that the person can go through stress. A prime example can be seen in Asian countries, where the general masses consider corporate jobs secure and well-paid. And

due to

pressure

Change preposition

from

show examples

parents, the individual forcefully agrees to work in the desired sector

according to

them. In

such

circumstances,

one

will not be able to grow professionally.

Furthermore

, working somewhere against your will can make the person irritable and more likely to complain about

life

Hence

, they will remain relatively dissatisfied compared to those who prefer working in something they love to do despite their low income. Interestingly, for the other half, who aim to follow their dream, chances are that they can excel in their career and continue to lead a content

life

. The gist of the matter is that, even though abundant money is the most valued by a number of people,

one

cannot guarantee the pleasure of

life

whereas

choosing something to do that makes oneself happy is more significant because

this

is the only way to lead a successful professional

life

Submitted by skyla201993 on Sat Dec 23 2023

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structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay does have these elements, but further refinement in structuring these parts will ensure better logical flow and understanding.

coherence

In body paragraphs, make sure each idea follows logically from its predecessor. Use transition words to make your argument more coherent.

examples

Always back your main points with relevant examples or evidence. While you have attempted to use an example, it needs to be more specific and detailed to effectively support your argument.

task response

A high-scoring essay thoroughly addresses the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to always align your response closely with the prompt. Expand on your ideas and explain your position consistently without generalizations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.