Some parents prefer to stay in care homes after their retirement instead of staying with their children. Why is this happening? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
These days, the majority of
parents
decide to stay in care
homes
after their retirement rather than staying with their children
. The reason why this
happen
is because of their own thoughts. Because of Change the verb form
happens
this
, there are some benefits and drawbacks from
Change preposition
to
this
action.
To begin
with, nowadays, retirement parents
usually have offspring that already grew
, and as growing adults normally have their personal Wrong verb form
grown
life
and jobs. So, they do not want to make their Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
become worried or busier than usual to take care
of them. Another reason is in
Change preposition
that
care
homes
, there would be full of people who have
the same Verb problem
are
ages
as them which leads them to be more comfortable. Fix the agreement mistake
age
For instance
, research reveals that more than 50% of elderly people get lonely Change preposition
at
in
their age, and to overcome Change preposition
at
this
, other studies suggest Change the verb form
making
to make
friends who Wrong verb form
making
similar
in numbers Add a missing verb
are similar
Change preposition
to
with
them. That's why Change preposition
to
parents
prefer to stay in care
homes
.
The consequences of this
behavior are the positive impacts and negative impacts on a
relationship between Correct article usage
the
parents
and children
. One of the advantages is parents
could be taken care
by
the volunteers in Change preposition
of by
care
homes
anytime and everywhere without making the children
worries
about them. There is Correct subject-verb agreement
worry
also
one disadvantage particularly less bonding towards them which makes an impact on children
. To illustrate it, a recent survey says that almost 70% of children
become not to
close to their Correct your spelling
too
parents
when they were
not surrounded by them.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
are
although
parents
have a reason to stay in care
homes
such
as for comforts
, it creates good and bad impacts on their relationships.Fix the agreement mistake
comfort
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Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task but lacks a thorough exploration of the reasons behind parents' preference for care homes and doesn't fully discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. Aim to address all parts of the prompt in your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay's logical structure needs improvement. Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate your main points and improve readability. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be supported by clear examples or explanations.
Introduction & Conclusion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be stronger. Introduce the topic clearly, then summarize your main points and opinion in the conclusion. The conclusion should not introduce new information.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive. Avoid making general statements without backing them up.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...